A piece of my mind

Warning: Angry post ahead.. read at your own risk. Yesterday, I had dinner with a few people from work. We went to this traditional kebab place in Agouza called El-Me3'arbel (food is really good by the way) but the evening was ruined for me. 3 of us entered slightly later than the rest of the group; we sat at the end of a long table. It was a crowded little place so all the tables where sort of crammed together in a small area. By now you'd say.. so what's new.. it's not like you haven't been to such a place before, why was the evening ruined. Well, from the moment we walked in , a young guy with his friend on the table on my left and a complete moron who was sitting alone on a table on my right decided that somehow I would be the entertainment of the evening. At first I tried the, yasmine-it's-just-in-your-head but then who was I kidding. Then I tried the ignore-it-and-it-will-go-away approach/ if you don't make eye contact they will get bored and stop it,...

The intro : A good friend told me, "Yasmine, there are no winners here. Just cut the chase, go down with your boots on and get it over with". And he was right (and I am soooooo grateful). I did go down to the bottom of the matter, but with a smile and high heals. The upside: 1- I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest 2- They feel happy and proud and flattered. It feels amazing to make a person you care about feel special, no? 3- We agreed to move beyond that point *somehow* 4- I was not a desperate (I hope) looser who sings zalmooh and cry themselves to sleep, I was me ; the fun, casual but caring me. 5- The conversation went smooth and fun; we even made jokes of it. No tension or pressure was built. 6- It was the right thing to do! The downside: 1- The conversation left lots of questions unanswered, for both parties. 2- Now I have to meet expectations of being "emotionally mature", so in other words, I lost my right to go girlie or emotional. 3- I'm...

Yesterday Nag introduced me to what google knows , which is pure fun. Reaching number 102, 103 and 104, I just found myself smiling, I do know these lines, I know they're definitely about poker (which I love by the way) but could not remember where I heard them in that order. Then today I remembered; I heard them in my dad's old records collection. See, my dad is a fan of Kenny Rogers and probably I heard this song so many times when I was younger that it just stuck to my head. Anyway... on youtube I found the muppet show version of "The Gambler" and I leave with these lines, not just about Poker, but about life.. You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, Know when to walk away and know when to run. You never count your money when you're sitting at the table. There'll be time enough for counting when the dealing is done.

In those rare moments when we bear our souls to each other, and still keep our smiles, I realize that friendship is indeed a miracle and that I have been blessed by having you!

I've been dying to see them ever since I was in London in 2004. They were starting their show perhaps a week or so after I leave back to Cairo so I didn't get the chance. They announced they were coming to Egypt around two months ago and I decided nothing will stop me from going, until I heard that the ticket prices start from 400LE. And that was the point when most the friends, who said they'll come, backed out. Then Meyo had assignments and Jaz had exams and definitely I won't go on my own so I doubted that maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Then Jiji came from the states and expressed interest and we were all set to go for Thursday. STOMP live in Cairo @ the Opera House. For some logistical reasons, we couldn't get tickets on Wednesday, and when we called the Opera House on Thursday they said they ran out of 400 and 600 LE tickets. I was so disappointed cause there was no way I could afford a more expensive ticket. But then Ji did the magic. Tab3an, those who ...

There are three levels of falling in "L"with someone; in love, in like and in lust. Almost the entire population of the earth, in my opinion , mix up things, or at least, overrate the word "love". You find this kid in highschool crying his eyes out on their latest cursh and claiming he loves her.I mean , seriously, how long have you known her and what do you know about love anyway. Anyhow, the way I see it, things work differently for guys and girls. Apparently, for guys, it goes in the following order: in lust -> in like -> in love while for girls, it goes; in like-> in lust- > in love. Some people are not capable of moving beyond the first level , and some people reach the last level faster than others. I personnaly ,till recently, thought that maybe the whole love thing is jut a state of mind where we delude* ourselves into thinking we are in love just because. You'd wonder why I put a * above! I just right now realized, that illusion does not ...

After looking at the stars for the last three minutes she looked at him and said, " Tell me 3 logical reasons why I should say yes " He replied without hesitation, " First of all, you love me.. " She interrupted, " that's not a logical reason, that's appealing to my emotions! " He sighed and said , " Well, I will answer your question only after you answer one of mine " Perplexed she said "S hoot! " He asked, " How come you ask me for logic when it has always been emotions that make sense to you? " She gave a sly smile and said, " The logic you'll say is not for me, it's what I'll tell everyone else "

Previously on soundtrack of life: intro , the ex , the workout , and friends . --- Going to work --- In the romantic comedy , the scene starts by her waking up , with a smile on her face, like she just had the most wonderful dream, then looks at the alarm clock and starts cursing and swearing that she woke up late for the millionth time. In a flash we see her all dressed , and ready to walk out the door. She walks to the tube station(call it subway, metro, underground ... whatever) where she meets one of her quirky friends and they take the tube . They talk while riding together till each of them reaches her stop. Leading girl then takes the bus for a couple of stops before reaching her office; it's the same bus everyday As soon as she steps out, she lights her cigarette and the driver (who happens to be the same everyday by pure coincidence) , always waves bye to her saying that she ought to quit smoking. She buys herself a cup of coffee from the cafe across the street from her ...

To know where this post comes from, read the intro , the ex and the workout . ---- Friends ---- In the romantic comedy , the friends are the core of the girls life. She's on the phone with them while at work , goes out with them after work, they represent her alternative family; giving her advise, cheering her up while she's down, and go love her regardless of her awkwardness. In fact, they are equally as awkward as she is; the gay small time fashion designer by day Broadway dancer by night, the acupuncture therapist and her husband who writes crossword puzzles for a local newspaper and her best friend, the nail spa owner who is as hopeless in relationships as she is. The usually meet after a situation, on a round table, with drinks, hilariously making fun of their problems. And when she (leading girl) has the core crisis of the movie, they play the inevitable role of the selfless friends and gather all their savings to send her on the trip of her lifetime touring Italy to...

Following the intro and part 1 , I present you with: ----The Workout---- In the romantic comedy we always see a scene of her working out. It will usually follow a transformation point when she decided to make herself a better person , loose weight, quite smoking, dump the lame boyfriend, move to a better job, pursue her dream of being an actress/dancer/fashion designer/ Cello Player or something. She's determined, charged and well prepared; damn, she even brought a new training outfit. As soon as she enters the gym hall, all proud of herself, she sees all the beautiful well built people in the room and as she keeps staring at this good looking hunk at the back she walks right into a wall. But, she's still all filled with energy; she stands up, still head up and goes straight to the treadmill. The next scene, we see her on the elliptical-cross-trainer and we see a quick flash back how she always avoided/feared/had a miserable childhood memory with that particular machine, but...

After we stated the facts here , I'll just do a little comparison, (1) if my life was a romantic comedy, (2) if it was drama movie, and (3) the documentary or in other words..real life. I'll take a few scenes and compare a little bit in each case.. ----The Ex ---- In the romantic comedy , we'll always have the pleasure and peace of mind in knowing that the ex was a complete @$$&0!* who didn't deserve her in the first place. He only shows up in the movie as a clumsy drunk who is obviously miserable because he misses her in his life and we can tell how screwed up he is. She sees him , perhaps before the leading man asks her out on a date. He makes a laughing stock out of himself and she feels sorry for herself yet does not show it in front of the leading man. The scene changes to later that night; when she is eating lots and lots of ice cream to cheer herself up and while she is singing out loud " I will survive" and cutting out her ex's face from ol...

Ok, that was going to be a long long post so I split it into several shorter ones I don't think anyone can deny the effect of the endless movies we've seen on our lives. I mean, I know I'm not the only one to say that sometimes I feel like today is just another scene in a movie. So, yesterday in the workout , it occurred to me; what if my life is in fact a movie?! What would it be like? What soundtrack will be playing in the background? Who would be the leading man? What kind of movie will it be? I took those thoughts and explored them further later through the day and decided, well, probably no one would be interested to know what my life would be like as a movie, but then again it's a piece of my mind, I get to blog whatever I want. No? Firstly, some facts: In a movie, any movie, she is the star, the one who the whole story goes on and on about. In real life, I am just another random person of the countless souls that roam this earth. In a movie, the right soundtrack...

Let's leave the words for the long long blogsposts I'm writing these day.. Additions to Ji's fashion line.. Roosha wanted a card for congratulating on a special occasion, so I made those below for her to choose from: A new experiment by Ji Cards which I'm really proud of.. both quality-wise and photo-wise :D (zeww is not so humble anymore )

I am loving this month.... seriously! I don't really remember how November used to be in the past but this November is a really good one. I mean, beside the fact that it's the concerts/ballet/cultural events season. It's the 2008 Zeww blossoming season (3ala ra2i Mekks ;)). I'm back on track with my weight control plan. I'm exercising regularly (akheeran). Back to blogging (and even to writing down my secret project which I haven't been writing for over 4 months now), yet still working on the cards hobby (which is looking promising , ya rab insha2allah). I went with Jaz and Meyo to the Opera House last Friday. We attended a brillient remake of ' Carmen ' by the Antonio Gades Company. It was SPLENDID; a fusion between ballet and flamenco. All the show's music was produced by three flamenco guitars, and the clapping and taping of the preformers, except for three scenes where they played the well known peices of music from the origional opera, which wa...

Love that movie, both parts... They're actually my kind of funny movies; not the dump, slip-over-banana ,type of funny, but the sarcastic, dark, funny-in-a-sad-way kind of funny. Added to that, a happy ending to touch the naive girl in me. Thinking about the movie, after a smart conversation (with za pest friend) I realized that perhaps I just need to acknowledge the difference between Mr. Perfect and Mr. Right (for lack of a better terminology). Mr. Right, is the good CV, the rich guy, with the expensive car, th e house in the suburbs and the family name(النسب الى يشرف). Your mother loves him because well, he's right for her daughter. Your dad trusts him and can spend hours talking to him. And your siblings show him off to their friends. And then there is Mr.Perfect . Mr. Perfect is the guy you always fall for, he proves the type theory ( that each of us has a type that we fall for every single time). Usually, your parents can't stand Mr. Perfect and you can't bl...

It's music season; Autumn has always been music season in Cairo. Actually, not just music, but all cultural events. Which is definitely a good thing.. I always love that stuff, except that, why just in Autumn? I mean the rest of the year is boring, why cram everything in just one season. Anyway.. I went to the SOS last Friday, which was so cool really. For the first time I heard Cairokee ; I've been wanting to listen to their songs for ages.. they're cool, as in really cool. I also heard The Percussion Show , and like WOW! begad WOW. And most importantly Nagham Masry , whom I absolutely adore..guys... you rock! But the coolest part was when the bands were fusing together. Even the worst ones were good when they played with others. Apparently, I like fusion music, along the lines of the latest awarness campaigns (حملات التوعية) that have been taking over Egypt since Ramadan, I say "نغني مع بعضنا , نتبسط كلنا" Yesterday evening, went to one of the Jazz Factory...

"And when you look in my eyes please know my heart is in your hands It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me " ----- Near You Always by Jewel "I've looked at love from both sides now From give and take, and still somehow Its loves illusions I recall I really dont know love at all" ---Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchel "I know I can't resist I never wanna fall asleep I'll only wanna dive in deep And I’ve tried and I’ve tried and tried to walk away I am scared of what I missed But don't you know it taste so sweet I'll only want to dive in deep And I’ve tried and I’ve tried and tried to walk away" ---Can't Resist Texas " I let the day go by I always say goodbye I watch the stars from my window sill The whole world is moving and I'm standing still" ---World Spins Madly On by The weepies " I'll say come on, come on, come on, come on, yeah take it! Take another little pi...

There's this annoying little something that always pisses me off, but I never talk about, cause it makes me feel mean and evil (which I sort of am but don't like to admit it). But then, Ji called and she had the very same problem (including the guilt of feeling mean and evil) and I decided, well.. this is worth blogging. You know how some "friends" only call you when they are depressed; as in, when something good happens in their life, you're the last to know, but you're always the first person that comes to their mind when they want to cry their heart out. Naturally, it's a good thing that friend know I'm there for them, and that I will always be there to lift them up when they fall. And I'm happy to know that they trust my opinions but let's just think: - So you are depressed, your life sucks, everything is falling out of place,.. I'm hear to listen, until! Until you bring up the fact that you talk to me cause I've had a shitty life s...

When you take the feelings out of it, what is left is just a big blank space!

انا سمعت خبر حكم السجن على المتحرش يوم الاربعاء الى فات , يعنى متأخر يوم , و كنت فى غاية السعادة : جايز عشان حسييت انى اخدت ثأر سنين الجامعة كلها .الحقيقة , انا عمرى ما كنت فهمة موضوع الثأر ده, يعني مكنتش ممكن عمري اتصور انى اتمنى لحد شر حتى لو جرحنى , بس صراحة , لما حكموا على الراجل انا حسييت بنوع غريب من السعادة , جايز الثأر و جايز شماتة برده. شبه الاحساس بالشماتة فى الى يكسر عليا و أنا سائقة علشان اول ما يعدى يلبس فى عمود نور مش حكاية ان انا شريرة والله بس مجرد احساس بالعدل الالهى. ما علينا , طبعا قعدت أقول لنفسى متفرحيش اوى يا ياسمين, علشان واضح ان ده رد فعل سريع للى حصل فى شارع جامعة الدول العيد الى فات و فى وسط البلد العيد الى قبله (الى هما انكروه في ساعتها و قالوا مش ممكن , دي مش أخلقنا ,و بعديين رجعوا يستشهدوا به السنة دى). قد يكون ده قرار من الحكومة علشان تلم الموضوع او وحاحد قاضى ابن حلال لى زوجة او بنت او اخت خايف عليها ( و دى بقيت حالة نادرة جدا طبعا فى المجتمع لأن محدش بيفكر فى امه و اخته دلوقتى ما دام فى موزة ماشية قدامه). او قد تكون نهى رشدى فعلا معاها وسطة جلبتلها...

This weekend was brilliant. Seriously, it was full. I had dinner with Mona, who is here from Denmark for a week, then we walked around Virigin and I managed to be a good girl and not buy anything for a change (yes... trying to recover from my shopping addiction). Mona is my let's-try-something-new friend; we've been to concerts together, photo shoots, and other more or less traditional endeavors. Mona, who is unique , in everyway, left a major gap in my life when she got married and left to Denmark, but we like her husband,and we are so happy she's happy, so we decided to live with the fact that she's not here and stay in touch via facebook messages. And before you ask, we, being our humbleness Yasmine hanem El-Mehairy.Then Friday was a stay-at-home and bonding-with-sister morning, where all plans to go to the gym/track where destroyed by me just being lazy. The night was so cool, I visited Haboosha, my friend for 20 years, who although I don't meet often, once we ...

I've been suffering from an "out of words" syndrome, where I can't find anything to write. Actually, to be more elaborate, I've been suffereing from a "don't feel like writing" syndrome. At first, I thought, maybe because I'm really busy ; Ramadan , work and all, but it's way simpler than that.. I just lost the will to write. I won'y say it came all of a sudden, I actually felt it coming, sneaking in slowly. I couldn't prevent it though. I'm not sure how long that will last, but I'm the kind of person that doesn't calm down unless there's some sort of creative output (or at least output ) for everything; Ku , my energy, my life, my need to share,... you name it. So, I searched and searched for a new output for the Ku and then it presented itself to me: Card Making! Not only did I find a new idea, but I fell in love with it, and got obsessed about it. It reminds me of when I was a little girl, when making crafts was my...

Seeing you, makes me realize how much I need someone!

You're so vain, you probably think this "blogpost" is about you You're so vain, I'll bet you think this "blogpost" is about you Don't you? don't you? You casually walk into a room, and expect everyone's world to revolve around you. You sweep the rest of us off our feet with your smooth and cool smile, and then before we notice, we're tangled into your web. I'm not really sure how you do that, or if you do that on purpose in the first place, but I noticed the trend.It usually start by you being really modest, easy going and smooth, but you're probably smarter and better looking than most, so it grants you immediate access to our hearts. I give it to you; you are fun, interesting, exciting, smooth, cool and playful. And somehow, by being all that, we all show off trying to be on your good side. And while we, the random people around you, put the effort trying to please you, you collect all our efforts to get an ego boost. I mean som...

"The truth will set you free", is just so overrated!

So Yousra ( class of 2008) graduated from school about a week ago, and in her graduation ceremony, I saw the same scenes I witnessed during Karim's graduation (class of 2001) from the same school and are the same scenes I personally went through when graduating from the same school (class of 1998). When Karim was graduating, I was very sentimental, it was not that long ago since I graduated, and I was still living the dream of staying best friends with my school mates forever and ever. I couldn't find neither happiness nor friends (almost) in university and so I settled for those friends I made in school and living on the memory of the happiest days of my life (then). I saw them throw their caps in the air and I couldn't help but cry. I heard the valedictorian give his speech and remembered how the headmistress's stubbornness stopped me from giving mine although the entire school wanted me to speak. I actually remembered the actual speech I had prepared then, and felt ...

A quote or rather a short story on the irony of life "A fieldmouse found a fallen hazelnut and began to bite into the hard shell of the nut with its sharp, ever-growing front teeth, not because it was hungry but because it was a prince under an enchantment who not regain his outer form until he chewed the Nut of Wisdom. But its excitement made it careless , and only the shadow that blotted out the moonlight warned it of the descent of a huge grey owl , who caught the mouse in its sharp talons and rose again into the night. ....... herself under a curse, and only able to resume her rightful shape if she consumed a mouse who had eaten the Nut of Wisdom, or perhaps a small bear." A quote on my favorite topic ever; time "Tristane and Yvaine were happy together. Not foreverafter, for Time, the thief, eventually takes all things into his dusty storehouse, but they were happy, as these things go, for a long while."

So I've been low on Ku lately, and I've been all sad and miserable and sorry for myself. And that's a really annoying thing; to be sorry for yourself. And since it reached that stage, I had to break the cycle. I took a week off work, although I genuinely missed Mostafa . Apparently, since I'm usually a high Ku person, the slow pace of life in summer wasn't doing me any good. I kept waiting for something to happen, anything, but nothing did. It was depressing but I decided to take things into my own hands and make things happen. During that week off, I went shopping, went to a movie " Dark Knight " (which is absolutely brilliant and a must see for any Batman fan), read a book "Stardust" which I blogged about here , went on a girl-only day use , and worked out several times. (I think it's true what they say how when one works out the negative energy flows outside their body!) All that was good, but what happened in the week at work following m...

I just finished reading Stardust , another of Neil Gaiman 's magnificent works. I saw the movie a while back and just finished the book yesterday. It's absolutely brilliant; funny, wicked and tricky. It's the kind of fiction that when you start, you can't really rest until you actually finish it. I'll probably blog a quote or two later tonight, but for now, I'd like to share an interesting thought that just occurred to me when I was talking to Nag earlier today. She was saying that although Stardust is very nice, books like these make her " dreamier than i already am " and it actually occurred to me, that perhaps that's why I haven't been feeling well the last few weeks. I've been so comfortable with reality while, in fact, my true nature is more on the ,as Nag puts it, on the "dreamy" side. Is there such a thing? That one's more in touch with one side of themselves than another? or that one can be more in touch with reality ...

I don't know how to start, I'm all lost and confused now. Last time we were together chilling by the Bosphorus; contemplating about life, the universe and everything. The next thing I know, she just took off, I woke up and she wasn't there. My spirit just left; without a note explaining how or why. I know I must have done something wrong, but really, I can't figure out why. We were happy, or at least I thought we were. She never said anything, how was I supposed to know something was wrong. I mean, yeah , we had our rough times, we've been through alot but recently , things seemed to be getting better. We were really happy those last few month, so what happened! As I was lost in my misery thinking how could I possibly have wronged it and how my life sucks without it, I heard the sad news from some friends. My spirit was found badly wounded between life and death on the side of the road. No one knows what happened or when, but now, it is recovering slowly; which isn...

(as requested by a new fan) Loneliness :: is when you look at the mirror and even your own reflection isn't there.

"Life is not fun, and then we die!" --KR

My friends have been complaining I haven't been blogging for a while. Honestly, life is being really slow and their is nothing to blog about, almost! I've been having this inexplicable phobia which started a couple of days ago when a saw a gecko (برص) in our staircase. I'm checking out every ceiling or wall before I enter buildings or rooms in fear that one day , I will enter a room and see a bors (yes i prefer to use bors than gecko). Having seen that bors, I will shiver or something, which will scare the bors which will then will have a heart attack and die, falling over my head! Weird, but , really, that's the only thing I can blog about now. Bor-es with a heart-attack over my head!

I said I was exhausted, I work too hard, and now I have no energy to continue working. I desperately need a motivational speech He said his speech which was not very motivational but at least he made the effort. However, he said something very funny in a sick and twisted sort of way"...personal life is over rated...". He, would remain anonymous on this post, in hope to save his personal life in case his family comes across this by mistake. Note to he: I' find it very funny. You're the best, ever!

Exhaustion: is losing the motivation to impress even those who matter most.

Rejection: is when even your pillow refuses to hug you back.

When the tears became knives that cut through the swollen wounds on my cheeks, I wished on a starless night that the moon would cast a spell on my vulnerable and emotional heart, to stop those damn tears. So now, I pay the price, of my reckless wish. Since the tears disappeared, nothing wash away the pain , and instead I end up feeling the bitterness taking over me. And that vulnerable and emotional heart of mine is now turning to stone. But you know what's worse, I'm not sure I want that to go away!