A piece of my mind

As a control freak, as a fighter, as someone who thinks I will always find I way if I try hard enough, it's incredible for me to say it, but I give up. I really give up; I tried everything I could and there's nothing more I can think of to get out of this. I spent the last 2 hours crying, yes, me crying; real tears, a first since 2007. And contrary to what I thought, no it doesn't feel better, I still feel equally like shit.  On one hand, my brain refuses to acknowledge the "it's really over" fact. I never felt this way about anyone before and no mental connection ever felt so right. So if it was that right, then he must also be feeling the same way, afterall it had been him who said "a story going too right". And if he feels the same, then it's not the end, it's just a shitty temporary phase that will end with a happy ending. On the other, he knows I'm here. He knows I adore him. And he's not doing anything about it. God

I miss you. It doesn't go away I hate you for getting that deep under my skin. God only knows the lengths I go through to get you out of me. The world isn't big enough for both of us, one of us has to die. I'm not suicidal. I'm not depressed. I'm just being pragmatic.

It's been ages since I fell in love with a movie. It's a musical, so if that's not your cup of tea, don't bother. The songs are just incredible. The cast is great; Mike Ruffalo, Kiera Knightley and guess who... Adam Levine from Maroon 5 ...wink wink (my wink is actually at Ruffalo but I'm humouring you). Oh , and the director is the same guy who direct "Once", another awesome musical movie. So anyway.. I leave you with my favorite song A Step You Can't Take Back by Keira Knightley (yes.. she sings) So you find yourself at the subway With your world in a bag by your side And all at once, it seemed like a good way You realise, it's the end of the line For what it's worth

I'd rob and I'd kill to keep him with me I'd do anything for that boy I'd give my last dime to hold him tonight I'd do anything for that boy -- Can't remember to forget you / Shakira