A piece of my mind

Tried hard to fight it but I don't have the energy to fight anymore. I give up. I am officially depressed. I keep thinking about my life in the last 6 months, the good, the bad and the ugly and pretty much, in retrospect, it sux! There are two questions that keep going through my mind over and over. - How much of it was real and how much was a fragment of my own imagination? - What do/did I do wrong? And how come no one tells me? Hope you all are having a better day/evening than I am. Good night!

You know those movies when the protagonist makes some sort of wish and wakes up finding themselves in another person's body? Why can't that happen in real life? I hate my life right now, what do I have to do to  be someone else for a day? I don't care who, I don't care wether rich or poor or where in the world. Just someone else, for a single day. If that can't happen, you know how at the end of the movie, the protagonist realizes how good their life is? Is there a simulation for that "aha" moment in the non-movie world? I dont even know the correct word to describe how i feel. Not good. Help and suggestions needed.

على الرغم من كل اللي بيحصل حوليا، اللي مهما حاولت انكره او اتغاضى عن وجوده بيغمرني بالاحساس باليأس وخيبة الأمل، مش قادرة أبطل أفكر فيك، بس متقلقش.. أنا كويسة وزي الفل. مش متأكدة إذا كان ده حالة ال  passive-aggressive  اللي عندي دي سببها عدم مبلالة حقيقي للواقع الغريب اللي بعيشه اليومين دول ولا ده علامة ان الواحد جتته تلّمت من كثر ال rejection  ولا ببساطة هي كانت مسألة وقت، والوقت عدى خلاص.  الخلاصة اني  فكرت مع نفسي مرارا وتكرارا وحقيقي مش قادرة ألومك على أي حاجة. اصل ابقى في حالة  denial  عجيبة لو لسة مش واخدة بالي ان العيب في انا، ما هو مش ممكن يكون كل الناس غلط وانا اللي صح لما المشكلة تتكرر كذا مرة. اعذرني.. انا اللي مقرأتش ال Terms and Conditions  بوضوح قبل ما اقول اني موافقة. أنا أسفة أني حطيتك في موقف سخيف لدرجة أنك خليت بالوعد الوحيد اللي وعدتني به علشان تفهمني ان القصة انتهت. بس والله بجد، انا عذراك ومش زعلانة منك خالص، بالعكس، اديني اهو بعتذرك لو لسه بتقرا البلوج بتاعتي اصلا. انت بس واحشني ، وحشتني أوي بصراحة.  بس متخافش، أنا بحترم رغبتك وقرارك في الا

There was a little boy called Bo and a dog called, well, dog. They met a while back when dog was playing with a ball and Bo helped him catch it and they instantly became friends. Days went on and Bo and dog practiced ball every day. They became closest of friends. Even closer than cat, who suddenly walked away and even closer than all the little boys who played with dog. Of course there were ups and downs, but friends care and work on fixing their problems. But one day, dog felt that Bo no longer cares, So for he stayed up every night, learning new ball tricks to surprise Bo and make him care again. But when he showed them to Bo, Bo just smiled. It's not that he doesn't like the new tricks, he simply doesn't want to play cause he feels dog is too attached. Dog smiled and shook his tail, why didn't you say so, he said to Bo, I could always go back to practicing with a tree. I didn't have to learn those new tricks, I did them for you. I could have saved myself t

Mark Darcy told Bridget Jones ' No, I like you very much. Just as you are.' That's when her friends asked: ' Just as you are? Not thinner? Not cleverer? Not with slightly bigger breasts and a slightly smaller nose? ' In my humble opinion, there are 3 types of people, when it comes to feeling one's life is full; suns, planets and moons. Moon-people need planets as a center in their life to revolve around; when there no planets, they feel empty and worthless. They put their whole life on hold until they find a new planet to shower with love and attention. Planet-people are slightly better, yes they need sun people to revolve around, yet have their own interests and are capable of having a life of their own. They show their love, respect and admiration to sun-people but also admit responsibility towards moons. Sun-people not only don't need other people to feel complete but also have the capability to spread love, happiness and sunshine to those who ca

I have no idea how many hours it has been, I've lost count. But I feel a huge void within my soul. A space for something that should've been there but isn't. I got used to this suffocating feeling so quickly that it feels like the white noise you hear on the radio when you sleep and forget to turn it off. Although a constant pain, it's subtle enough not to allow you to complain. You know, it's like having a cold, you're not sick enough to take the day off but you're not well enough either to have a normal life. But that isn't the problem really. The problem is the scary feeling of calm and quiet that I have although I was emotionally prepared for a raging storm. Could this be acceptance of the status quo? So quickly? Or am I back to the hopeful denial? Or is it both, if there is such a thing!? In a world of contradicting emotions of self love and loath, it is not unusual to be foolishly optimistic and pragmatically sensible and realistic at the same time

She asked me: Don't you think that you're taking responsibility for things out of your hands? I said: If I don't, then I am just another victim. There is no way I'm going to accept that.

72 hours later Staring at an imaginary dot on the ceiling while drowning myself in work. I figured if I continue thinking, I'll torture myself to insanity, so I have to stop. To stop, I must work, work out and read fiction; not fiction that has happily ever afters, but rather fictions where things don't work out that well after all. That said, the imaginary dot on the ceiling is trying to tell me something that I can't understand.  And I'm trying not to reach out to my phone.

48 hours later I go thought the 5 stages of grief in 60-90 minute cycles: - Denial : it doesn't hurt... I've been through worse. Remembering all the worse things that I've been through to convince myself I'm doing great. - Anger : Life is just not fair! Why couldn't thing have been easier? Why couldn't I have been a simpler person who wants achievable things? Trying to understand, really! -  Bargaining : Maybe I should let go of my silly code of right and wrong and run to say sorry. But will it work? I honestly don't know why I don't. But, I don't. - Depression: I'm not ready to face life right now, I'll take a few days off, in bed, in the dark, alone. Staring at the ceiling hoping for a miracle. -Acceptance:  It was the right thing to do.  Not sure if I will believe this long enough anymore.

24 hours So that's what it feels like to quit smoking, isn't it? See I never smoked but I've always heard my friends complain. According to science, the nicotine withdrawal symptoms start like 2-3 hours after your last smoke and peak after 48- 60 hours later. It has been 24 hours and I'm already: struggling with craving, tense, anxious, finding it hard to concentrate, eating like a pig, and slowly sliding into depression. I've had headaches on and off for the last 18 hours, but I blame this on the vicious cycle : cry - sleep-wake up with a headache - stare mindlessly at the ceiling - cry some more. But again, headaches are also considered symptoms of nicotine withdrawal, no? And again like quitting smoking, I comfort myself by saying, "I did the right thing" and "I was stupid to be addicted in the first place, I knew what I was getting myself into", oh, and the famous "better hurt now than destroy you later". But truth be told, i

I can not even begin to describe what it's like when the butterflies in your stomach turn into wild hornets...

Given last night's catastrophe, there is one of two options: either I learn to follow the rules , play games , use the tried and tested advice that my friends keep giving me and act like a girl. Or I keep my mouth shut, pull on a poker face and be a guy. But the way I always make a fool out of myself and the failure I've always been at handling delicate situations along the years have just been topped by a whole new level of foolish performance! I honestly can't believe myself, I don't know how I'm gonna look him straight in the eyes after what I said. That's even beyond a drunk call and what's worse, it's documented. And I used to keep telling myself "at least I'm honest to myself", I might as well learn to not see elephants in rooms if it will avoid these kinds of situations. I feel like  ... I don't actually know how to describe what I feel. I think people like me should be banned from talking, ever, with a court order. Or maybe get

Did I ever tell you what sleep means to me? I said it before and say it again ,  Sleep is the escape and the solution to most problems. It's the best thing that ever exists. What better end of a day, wether good or bad, then the comforting hug of your duvet and pillow in your own world of dreams where you are, for once, the protagonist.  So that's how much sleep means to me. Now can you imagine that I actually wake up from my great dreams to talk to you on the phone? Yes, I know , I seem perfectly awake. But reality is, I was deep asleep and then I heard my phone vibrate so I woke up hoping it would be you. And it was you and that put a huge smile on my face. And we chatted for hours. Point being, you are more important than sleep. You should feel very very special. And guess what, I'm finding it hard to stick to the rules. Source: scribd.com via Yasmine on Pinterest

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there was this nice guy and that nice girl. They worked together sometimes. They were also great friends. The talked about all sorts of topics and joked and had fun. The End

Yasmine is going through a phase of lack of confidence, on all levels. Hopefully it's just temporarily. She could really use a pat on the back!

للمرة الألف (رقم مجازي) جاءت أمي وقالت لي: عايزة أقولك حاجة مش هتعجبك. وبمنتهى الثقة قبل ما تكمل كلامها: أنا لسة وزنة نفسي دلوقتي ولقيت نفسي خسيت.. فمتقوليليش تخنتي تاني.  ماهو في ٣ مواضيع بيني وبين مامي هما اللي دائما بنتخانق عليهم: أول واحد أني مش إجتماعية وودودة مع العائلة، وده غالبا بيطرح حولين المناسبات الإجتماعية والزيارات وفي الوقت الحالي مفيش حاجة من دول على الأفق، بالعكس، أنا في رمضان عملت الواجب المفروض .  الموضوع الثاني: خناقات الوزن- إعملي رجييم، لأ مش هاعمل. تخنتي... لأ أنا حلوة كدة..وده عادة لا ينتهي لأني معنديش ثقة كافية إنني أقاوح كثير وفي نفس الوقت معنديش إستعداد أعمل رجييم تاني.  ويجي الموضوع الثالث.. الخناقات التي لا تنتهي مهما طالت فترة غيابها... عرسان!  يا الله.. مهما كنا على وفاق أنا ومامي، لازم تنكد عليا بالموضوع ده. سبحان الله، طب طول ما إنت عارفة يا ست الكل إن الموضوع ده هيزعلني، ايه لزمته اصلا؟! متفهمش، هي بتيجي كده، كل كام شهر تخبطني خبر من دول.  الغباء بقى.. اني كل مرة بتصدم وبتنح وبيجيلي حالة من البلاهة.. بيكون نفسي تنسى أو إنها تكون إقتن

Been on a 4 day trip to Istanbul with my family and part of the itinerary was the Grand Bazaar, a huge souq that sells anything and everything. There, I was bored to death! It's not that I don't like shopping, I do.. people how know me know I'm a recovered shopaholic. Anyway, while I was bored, I was contemplating and came across two blog-able thoughts. First,  the realization: I hate markets! Yes, that's one thing where I am a spoilt brat. I don't like markets; I always have the impression people are taking advantage of me with the prices and I hate and have no skills at bargaining. I hate the haphazardness of the shops and the shop keepers that chase you to buy "their unique product", which in reality is in every single store or stall in the area. Yes, I am spoilt, but I prefer malls or streets where my favorite brands (of everything) or brands waiting to be my next favorite thing are sorted and organized. You can claim I buy overpriced stuff, but ther

اعتقد أني وصلت لدرجة من تسطيح الأمور ان جمال المرأة بالنسبة لي بقى بطن مفرودة وقوام ممشوق. وللأسف ماعتقدش ان عمري هقدر أشوف نفسي جميلة لحد ما المشكلة دي تتحل!

If you let me, here's what I'll do... I'll take care of you! 'Take Care' by Drake/ rihanna

Isn't it amazing that you find someone amazing, who actually thinks you're fun and seems not to mind spending some time with you?! Sa7? Isn't it frustrating, akher 7aga, that that's it; that's the max you can get out of it, 'some' time! I end up over panicking about saying or doing the wrong things in fear of messing up my 'time'. 7aga sakheefa gidan. But then when I'm with that person, I just feel peace and calmness I never felt before. It doesn't even make sense, mostly people used to get on my nerves not make me calm. Mesh ba2oloko it's really amazing. But I hate him! I hate how he is so great. I hate how this life is so twisted that you meet ,potentially, the right person at the wrong time. I hate that I have to take the backseat , and wait to see what life is going to throw my way, instead of stirring life myself. I hate how right it feels but how it is so wrong. And I hate that I'm writing about it. And to end it, I'll q

I was just remembering 'my best friend's wedding' the other day, one of the really cute chickflicks. El mohem, two things are very memorable about this movie; the soundtrack (esp the cast version of 'I say a little prayer for you') and the heart aching quote by Julia Roberts I realize this comes at a very inopportune time, but I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you. Choose me. M-marry me. Let me make you happy. Oh, that sounds like three favors, doesn't it? W ba3d Kol da, Edaha el saboona and she ended up hanging out with the gay but handsome guy. So not cool, but c'est la vie, hane3mel eih!

One day I will have faith in myself, I will believe I am capable and I am doing a good job. One day, I will trust myself , I will accept that I deserve good things and that I truly am a good person. Just not today.

A few days back, someone called me a 'gorgeous woman'. Now, besides the fact that it's an amazing compliment, just made me think 'who are u talking to?' . I never saw myself as a 'woman', I mean, yes of course in gender terms, I am a woman. But I always saw myself as a 'girl'. Only very recently did I start accepting the term 'lady', now you're telling me 'woman'?!. It's odd I know. Woman is my mother, or someone else's. Or a femme fatal , or sexy boss in some box office movie. By all means, not me. I think i refer to women in two scenarios, either a combo of age + wisdom(hence mother) or some level of sexiness (hence femme fatal). Again, so not me! Another theory could be like Sylvia Plath classified in the bell jar; ' I saw the world divided into people who had slept with somebody and people who hadn’t, and this seemed the only really significant difference between one person and another'. Could this be the

In business, sometimes you're forced to send someone a "friendly reminder" to pay their invoice or collect their stuff or send you the missing information. Anything of that sort. Because, I'm the kind of person that tries to practice what I preach, I took my business practice into my personal life. Sometimes I even feel I'm treating my life like a huge business project, but that's a story for another day. Remember, I was saying that something good is happening in my life? I have a reason for happiness, unexplainable and undefinable, but to which I am grateful and content. But, I know its temporary. Why? Because, life has taught me that all good things are. And the problem is, when good things end, it really hurts, right? I figured that the problem with happy days, is that one gets involved and forgets that they are temporary. We take the good days for granted. So, I came up with the plan.. not perfect, but hopefully it will work. When I see myself giggling

In the last episode of the Zeww confession chronicles (not sure if there will be more to be honest, but hey.. humor me!). Anyway.. in the last episode.. I briefly told you how artist-dude came into my life. But this isn't the whole story, it gets complicated. The following morning, the ex-dude with the unknown relationship status comes back to life, he's flying over to see me. That "was"good news back then. So at this major event, the artist bazaar, I was dressed up and pretty, ex-dude was coming to see zeww. Artist-dude seemed to like the sight of zeww looking pretty and told his other artist friends. Leading to the matter, becoming a high school drama, of course, where artists coming to talk to zeww about giving artist-dude a chance and so forth. Then ex-dude came over to the event, and naturally, we spent some good time laughing and joking. Artist -dude felt jealous and waited till ex-dude left then came over to talk and asked "I thought we had a little t

Dear world I confess... I lied.. and it's here to haunt me! Well, don't take it so seriously. It's just here to bug me. And it wasn't that big of a lie anyway. But before you say anything.. I know.. a lie is a lie.. no matter how big or small. Anyway, here's how the story happened. Date : December 2010 Event : Helping organize and arts and crafts bazaar Relationship Status : In between dating a guy... he disappeared in some random events that ended in a conversation of whether or not we should talk to each other. What happened was, I got involved helping a friend organize this event, and I ended up in a task which I hated; call the artists! Pretty much all my friends know how much I hate phone calls but I ended up doing that task anyway. My friend was overloaded. Point being, I call this artist, really nice guy. So nice, that we ended up chatting for over an hour. So nice, that I google the hell out of him the moment we hang up.. not just google.. google,

Today, I'm having a micro personal celebration here on the blog. Source: everlastingink.blogspot.com via Anne on Pinterest There are two reasons to celebrate; first reason: I got a new pair of black shoes! Horaaaaay... I've been trying to get a pair of flat shoes that are not peep-toe, ballerina nor have laces since last November. I got a pair! I'm so excited that I feel like singing.. ever saw someone crazy enough to sing for a pair of shoes? "I'm so excited....I just can't hide it" The second reason is, I found the answer for  question that I was trying to answer since February. Do you have any idea what it feels like to find an answer to a 6 months old question? Let me tell you it feels great, especially when this questions makes you feel empowered, able and have something to give instead of a useless feeling that you've been having for 6 months. I apologize for not sharing the question nor answer publicly, but it's somethin

You know what really sux? The bad boys have left the girl with so many scars that the good boy ends up having to deal with. This applied for the boy, too, naturally

You know when things happen so fast and then one day you realize, "Hell, I've been hit by a train!". No complaints, bel 3aks, alhamdulilah, I've been on a cheerful roller coaster ride which I hope never ends, but then... Yep.. there's always a but, isn't there? But then, in one week, three  close encounters  of the first and second type , leaving you slightly discombobulated with a need to stop and wonder.. where am I going? and for how long?

Ok.. happy post, second time in a row.. how rare!? Well, it seems I did something right at some point! I have no idea what, but it's paying off nicely. From 4 different people, in the same week, I hear amazing complements, that would make , even a super model blush. And guess what, that includes my uncle, whom although I know loves me very much, never ever said anything cute to me. Regardless, life is good alhamdulilah, especially that its Ramadan ( I love Ramadan). Of course there are the usual ups and downs at work and otherwise, but overall... it's good! Happy Ramadan everyone!

In life, there are a few rare moments when you feel life is good to you. For the 5th day in a row, I go to bed with a smile on my face. To this, I am grateful.

This probably is the most eloquent post I've ever written. I can only think of one word: FUCK!

I officially became everything that I hate; a spoilt defensive brat, a drama queen, and above all a parasite.

Silly girl! What have you got yourself into, silly girl?! It's a deadlock silly girl. Run! Silly girl! Drop your expectations , wants and needs. What are you thinking? Who do you think you are? It is not about you at the end of the day; you are nothing but a peg in the big machine. Life will go on with or without you. Silly girl! It will only you who will get hurt, again. Run, silly girl, run! Silly girl! Society will never forgive you, silly girl! If you want the life you're leading drop it now and run. Run like there's no tomorrow. Run and never look back. And if you cry, dry your tears, and keep running; it was you who brought it down upon yourself!

 لاحظت إن بقى لى فترة كل تدويناتي إما تتحدث عن الحب (أو عدمه) والمشاعر (أو عدمها) أو تدوينات حزينة نكدية بتبني جو من  الكآبة العامة اللي محدش لا طايقها ولا ناقصها اصلا. فقررت بيني وبين نفسي أني مش هكتب حتى يكون عندي شئ خفيف وظريف أكتب عنه. المشكلة للأسف اللي وجهتني هي أن كل اللي بيدور في بالي دلوقتي إما الشغل ومشاكله اللي مبتخلصش أو حوار المشاعر اللي قلت إني مش هتكلم فيه، فقررت أسكت. بس النهارده وأنا في العربية مراوحة البيت من الشغل جائت لي فكرة قلت رغم إنها بتكسر شوية القرار اللي فوق إلا إنها تمشي مع فكرة خفيفة فممكن نعملها إستثناء فكرت في قد إيه "الإعجاب أو الإنبهار" بشخص ده عامل زي طرق الطبيخ، فيها السريع واللي على نار هادئة والللي الواحد يقعد يجهز فيه ويستنى عليه في الفرن إنه يستوي، مبيستويش. طبعا أنا محبب عليا أقول "الحب عامل زي الطبيخ"، بس من ناحية، أنا لسة من كام يوم بقول إن الإعجاب محتاج كثير علشان يبقى حب أصلا، ومن ناحية تانية حسيت إن الجملة مستهلكة جدا من قبل النكت القالشة.    أنا كنت طول عمري بميل للطبيخ السريع، زي طريقة "ستير فراي"، في

When something is so good but definitely wont last. The problem is, I know it's gonna hurt like hell when it's over. I'm just waiting for it to happen. Damn this vulnerability that makes me a maf3ool bih not a fa3el. Ya khoofi from that day when it comes!

A while ago, a friend asked me if I consider myself romantic and I've been meaning to share my thoughts but didn't get any "blogger time". So, no! I don't consider myself romantic. But I do believe in love. Not the one that comes on first sight, but rather the one that grow. Not the one that is one-sided either, to me, its not love until it is reciprocated. Not the one that gets you staring at sunsets and starry night, but rather the one that gives you butterflies and "electricity" that you feel you need to take some sort of action. Not the one where you stare at each others eyes, but the one where you cant get enough of knowing each other and asking questions and exploring options. And to be honest, not the one that's platonic either, if it doesn't have an element of physical attraction, mesh haned7ak 3alal ba3d, keda yeb2a okhowa. Not the one that stays forever "as long as we both shall live", people change, circumstances chan

... even smaller than just thoughts. I used to think I was great at spending money, just not as good at making it. Now I realize, I'm neither! My baby sister graduated. I'm so proud. Nothing in the world measures up to the thank you I saw on her face when I gave her her graduation present. Does my face say thank you when my tongue doesn't? Though at the graduation ceremony, I felt like a grumpy old man complaining about the kids being too loud. Was I always that boring or was I ever fun? Remember the days when I said I don't care about cars? I changed my mind.. there's nothing like driving a Mercedes! There's this iPhone game called DrawSomething, and I have 6 friends to play against day-on day-off. It's fun, a mini pictionary, but it brings to mind two things: I draw horribly. I keep wondering why my friends put up! Won't it be cute if someone used it as a mini card? Says something like "happy birthday" by drawing a cake and balloons, or &qu

Let's start by a cheesy admission... I am a fan of Chinese "Wuxia" - martial arts - movies of the warriors in the ancient times with all the flying over trees, walk over water, swords, weapons, large armies and so forth, think "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", "House of Flying Daggers", "Hero"...etc.  That said, you can imagine what a trip to China. Add Chinese food, the forbidden city and the fact that one gets to see THE Great Wall of China. And a short trip to Xian to see the Terracotta Warriors. Source: josselinbreugnotphotos.blogspot.fr via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: Uploaded by user via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: placestovisitinchina.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: mynrma.com.au via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: destination360.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: photo.net via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: curiosity.discovery.com via Yasmine on Pinterest

I've always loved Whitney Houston since I was a kid. I remember finding her CD in the 80s in my dad's collection and her songs have been with me ever since. El mohem, I had my iPod on shuffle at the gym and heard this song, "How will I know" which I recently quoted in this post and that one . Enjoyed the 80s hairstyle and make up? Yalla ma 3aleena... Now, this actually brings us to a very important question... really... how do I know? La2 begad? At some point in time I thought I knew but I am genuinely confused. Blash "loves me", di kebeera. How can you tell if a person is interested in you as a friend, wala as a love-interest or just interested in you as a project/ puzzle/ book they'd like to master/discover/figure out?  Whitney said, "Don't trust your feelings". Anyone has a piece of advice they can share? begad walahi, I'd really like to know. Really, any tips?

With age, comes a little wisdom. I looked at the foolish things I did in the past, and decided to learn from my mistakes without regret. I learnt that nothing, no matter what, lasts forever. I also learnt that I can get where I want, eventually, only if I keep trying. I learnt that intelligence , the ability to keep one's mouth shut and mind open. I learnt that knowing your hierarchy in society or rather where you are in the food chain helps you gains people's love. I learnt that a smile will give you a head start and kindness will keep you at the advanced stages. I learnt that loosing and starting over is inevitable, and that so are tears. So we might as well deal with them. And finally, I learnt that the two hardest Virtues to acquire are patience and keeping my mouth shut. Hope any of this helps anyone

Source: coexi5t.tumblr.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: Uploaded by user via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: aditone.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: someecards.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: Uploaded by user via Yasmine on Pinterest

Please take me dancing tonight ... I've been all on my own You promised one day we could ... it's what you said on the phone I'm just a prisoner of love ... always hid from the light Please take me dancing Please take me dancing tonight Stolen Car, Sting

Right now, I feel like an old joke. A joke that was funny 5 years ago but is now past it's expiry date. And they say, ask the best friend, he knows best. The best friend said give yourself time. What does an old joke have plenty of? Time! Lots of it! When old jokes fail to make you smile, they have nothing else to offer but the pleasure of their company.

Dear everyone... I'm taking some time off the blog, facebook and to an extent, my phone.. only for emergencies. I hope you understand! a toute a l'heure 

I've been on a very emotional ride, triggered by accident but grew tremendously over the past few days. I've been really stressed for the last year or so, but especially those last few days, the stress was becoming to o hard to handle, and then "that thing" happened and all hell broke loose. Like it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I just can't contain those feelings and emotions anymore. For the 4th time in 5 days, I sit there, crying in my car by the side of the road, how pathetic, right?! I'm aware that I am "banaked 3ala nafsi", watching videos or photos that I know will stress me even more, but it's an important sanity check to face yourself in the mirror and remember how small you are. I'm aware that I'm projecting my stress on all the wrong things but I just can't "Compose myself" in poise and courtesy anymore. I'm also aware that I probably messed up a great opportunity, but I myself am confused.

Warning: Ranting post ahead! We've established a long time ago that I don't obviously have the skills or capabilities to be in a relationship, so I thought, what the hell, I'll surround myself with friends... who needs a relationship anyway, right?! Wrong... or maybe right.. I don't know anymore. It never fails to amaze me how friends can drop you off their life and just move on 3adi keda. I might be high maintenance,  but I was always under the impression that you get back what you give. I would like to think that I am a good friend; I call to make sure your doing good but not too much that I suffocate you, I give you your space when you need it, I respect your privacy even if I'm itching with curiosity, I'm always there for you when/if you need me, I try to be a funny and entertaining person telling fun stories (who needs a depressing friend anyway). But it seems something I do is wrong. It really hurts when you realize that someone you considered

Venice, Italy Venice... need I say more? Whether with friends, family or a special someone, I'd almost pay an arm to go :) Canals , Gondola, Fine Arts ,  Carnivals and where one of my favorite movies take place. I was in love with Venice even before I saw "The Tourist" and seeing Johnny and Angelina in Venice made it even worse. And although I was never that much of a shoes person... her Ferregamo's were amazing! Here's to Venice! Source: google.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: pinnedrecipes.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: cs11443.userapi.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: tumblr.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: linkbun.ch via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: justcallmegrace.tumblr.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: Uploaded by user via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: Uploaded by user via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: destination360.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: google.com.eg via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: google.com.e

Did I ever tell you how much I love musicals? They just make me happy. Loved them since I was a kid watching musical movies: "Sound of Music", "Mary Popins" and "My Fair Lady" with my cousins at our weekly gathering in my grandma's house. Then growing up there were "Grease" and "Saturday Night Fever". I think there was a drop somewhere in the middle which got revived with the newer versions of "Moulin Rouge" then "Chicago"...I love Chicago... loved it even more when I saw it live in London with Jaz and Mai.... no seriously, talk about Razzle Dazzle begad! Isn't life just a big show after all? Then comes my absolute favorite.. yes.. a happy-go-lucky... gotta feel good about life, the universe and everything... the one, the only... Mamma Mia! That was a whole new level of experience when we watched it live. We literally were singing and dancing in the streets of cold and gloomy London just after midnight. Peo

Something about waterfalls makes me stand in awe and wonder. Sob7an Allah. Iguazu falls is one of the natural wonders of the world, a UNESCO world heritage site on the borders of Brazil, Argentina and Paraguay. Apparently, the view is better at the Brazilian side because most of the falls are in Argentina.  Source: lonelyplanet.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: funbazaar.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: panoramio.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: flickr.com via Yasmine on Pinterest So while one's there, why not drop for a night or two at Rio de Janeiro and see some carnival celebration. Source: newtrendyhairstyles.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: google.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: fiveminutegetaway.icanhascheezburger.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Now the funny thing that I must admit is, I'm a little afraid of height. Tab ya Yasmine, how are you gonna do all that? Good questio

It just hit me today.. I AM insane! Source: maluna.tumblr.com via Yasmine on Pinterest

As per the title, this post is nothing more than me bitching and whining! Thou hath been warnt... proceed with care! Fa, I'm exhausted! I'm sick and tired of doing everything myself (not complaining about Zei.. I'm sure she's feeling the same). Point being, begad mesh 2adra.. we're doing all sorts of random jobs. I was never the girl that complains about doing work in general, wala about responsibility. Bel 3aks, I'm proud to say that everyone around me know that I am "gada3a w basheel" and that I am not usually  a complainer. Bas begad, I don't know how long I can do this. I'm tired of being the guy; doing all those rubbish tasks that by all means a girl should not be doing. Like checking apartments with agents till 11 pm and bargaining about prices. I shouldn't be worrying about taking my car to the AC guy to pump up the freon. And by all means, I shouldn't be standing with the technicians fixing our fridge. No offense intended to

Bali... Oh Bali... What can I say except mash2allah! It's heaven on earth. The ideal honeymoon spot which I've always dreamed of, then I managed to convince Kimo (my bro) to go for theirs. Tab3an, I'd do it a bit different than them, I'd go to a spa, climb the volcano mountain to see sunrise , visit temples, bike across the rice fields, learn balinese cooking, and see some culture... And of course eat fresh coconuts and all those exotic fruits (which I really don't know the names of but tried in Malaysia) like there's no tomorrow! Whether I go on a honeymoon, with friend, family or solo, I'm staying at one of those tiny villas with a private pool and bale! Source: pindar.info via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: goo.gl via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: goo.gl via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: Uploaded by user via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: farm4.staticflickr.com via Yasmine on Pinterest Source: Uploade