A piece of my mind

Although it doesn't make any sense why so would like to read my venting and pouring out my pointless thoughts, but since some do, then they deserve an update. Family matters are working fine now, Karim (the bro) katab kitabo, Yousra (the sis) turned 18 and got her driver's license. Relationship with parents improving. We had a death in the family though which made me contemplate and think a a number of things. Guy turned out to be , just like the normal pattern of educated, well-read, well-traveled, and interesting people.... not appropriate for religious compatibility, so I aborted the pursuit, even on google. Naturally, there was a bit of disappointment, why is this pattern there? Guys who are interesting on the intellectual level have mostly abandoned believing in God. I almost thought it was not possible to ever meet my dream guy and started picturing myself as the old lonely woman in black who has 10 cats (, but then Meyo (the best friend), asked me a brilliant question.

Their eyes met. And with no introduction, she felt her spirits lifted, as his eyes whispered some hidden secret to hers. They exchanged a casual conversation and she excused herself and left. They met again a couple of days later, he left the room as swiftly as he entered. She wished she could talk to him, get to know him better, but it was not the time nor place. Sounds like a couple of lines from a trashy romantic novel? Well not really, they're a couple of moments from my own life. Not that they mean anything. I mean, we meet interesting people that we hope to get to know better all the time, no? And its not like I beleive in love (or like) at first sight , in the first place . And its not that I saw him again, anyway. Fa eih ba2a? Nothing really. There is a bit of guilt and a bit of happiness. Well guilt because of how I feel towards dude ( dude being the one I love who is in love with someone else ). I mean, how can one be interested in guy while they are in love with dude (g

As a follow up to my post wait and see I decided to approach life, one bulk at a time. To be honest, it wasn't a "decision", rather , life started to sort out parts of itself, if that makes any sense. Work started to take a different turn after we launch the website Tuesday night. Lots of attitudes have changed. I realized there were some people do appreciate one's work, some very interesting people to get to know and dare I say some potential friendships if one looks closely. Still have mixed feelings about the nature of the job though. I think this shall clear itself out eventually as well. A short post for a change Yalla salam

They say they love you , but they keep trying to change you. So what is it that you love about me, if you want to turn me into you?

Besides loosing the ability to put my feelings and thoughts into writing, I realized that most of the time it's becoming easier for me not to talk stuff. I'd feel this huge load on my chest, keep thinking about it for hours, days and sometimes weeks, perhaps giving some main headlines to close friends, but not talk it off like I used to do in the past. I don't know if I lost the will to talk or just the talent to express. That is one of many changes that I am realizing about myself that make me very uncomfortable. I am actually forcing myself right now to do some writing-therapy. Get it out in the open, no matter how long or short this post becomes. I used to be a control freak; I can't say I liked it , but it was the way I knew how to handle things, the way my life went on. Now, I'm becoming so passive, always on the wait-and-see mood. And no, not the patience wait-and-see rather the passive, i-hope-things-work-out-without-me-needing-to-change-anything one. It'