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Strong Woman

I came across this quote about a week ago, it touched me so deep, that I saved the image, and  kept re-reading it over and over again until I figured out why it resonated so much. Let's leave feminism on the side, that's not the point here. Let's just focus on strength. Strong women are just awesome! I'm not talking about successful career women, not presidents of nations.. I'm talking about female strength in general which comes in all forms, shapes and sizes. During my teens, I hated being girl. I felt it was unfair, I wanted the freedom, the lack of awkwardness, the open options and the respect. But I was strong enough to fight for what I wanted; and honestly, had the support of an incredible family who weren't intimidated by female strength. Back then of course, we called it guts not strength. In my twenties, I figured out that actually, it's not that bad being girl. People always expected less of me, so I had a chance to excel with very little

Updates on 2014's Resolutions

Around this time last year, I wrote a few blog posts; - I was fascinated by the concept of the " femmes fatales ", little did I know that the twists and turns of time can turn me into one when I was not looking. I am not (or at least trying not to be) a manipulative bitch, but one has to admire the power women can have over men and how to exercise it. Evil? Don't think so. Powerful? You bet! - I also talked about a state of Limbo caused by a guy, or rather, the lack of a certain guy. Well, Limbo has doubled; lack of guy and presence of another guy, and And apparently, it's one of those things that time alone can't solve. Something has to happen. No idea what. But just sitting there waiting for time to pass didn't/doesn't work. And the kind of ideas that occur to me to do (and the actions based on the silly ideas) don't work either. - And on 2014 's resolutions; one has to say, not bad at all: 1- although we began the year with significant w

It's all new to me

I'm in that state when I don't know myself anymore. I used to be tense when in silent, but now I appreciate silence more than words most of the time. I used to understand how I feel about different things/people/plans/places but so far, I don't even have feelings towards most things. I am used to knowing, now the most common thing I say is "I don't know". And I'm used to being emotional, now I feel cold & distant, from everyone and anyone. I used to be kind, sensitive and selfless, now I look at myself and don't know who this selfish, abusive, exploiting, manipulative bitch is. And where did the nice one go? I'm very confused, I'm emotionally drained and I can't make up my mind. I'm stuck in a vacuum of thoughts and emotions looking at the ticking clock wondering when that state will end. It's new to me and I don't like it.

وفي النهاية... الرقيقة دائما تنتصر

  المشكلة الحقيقية هي أن الرقيقة خدعتهم كلهم، هي الأقوى رغم انف من يجرأ ان يقول غير ذلك. رغم كل شئ تجرأ على التخيل والحلم والحب. رغم الجرح الذي لم يلتئم بعد. رغم محاربة الكل. في النهاية... الرقيقة دائما تنتصر

I give up

As a control freak, as a fighter, as someone who thinks I will always find I way if I try hard enough, it's incredible for me to say it, but I give up. I really give up; I tried everything I could and there's nothing more I can think of to get out of this. I spent the last 2 hours crying, yes, me crying; real tears, a first since 2007. And contrary to what I thought, no it doesn't feel better, I still feel equally like shit.  On one hand, my brain refuses to acknowledge the "it's really over" fact. I never felt this way about anyone before and no mental connection ever felt so right. So if it was that right, then he must also be feeling the same way, afterall it had been him who said "a story going too right". And if he feels the same, then it's not the end, it's just a shitty temporary phase that will end with a happy ending. On the other, he knows I'm here. He knows I adore him. And he's not doing anything about it. God
I miss you. It doesn't go away I hate you for getting that deep under my skin. God only knows the lengths I go through to get you out of me. The world isn't big enough for both of us, one of us has to die. I'm not suicidal. I'm not depressed. I'm just being pragmatic.

Begin Again - A Movie

It's been ages since I fell in love with a movie. It's a musical, so if that's not your cup of tea, don't bother. The songs are just incredible. The cast is great; Mike Ruffalo, Kiera Knightley and guess who... Adam Levine from Maroon 5 ...wink wink (my wink is actually at Ruffalo but I'm humouring you). Oh , and the director is the same guy who direct "Once", another awesome musical movie. So anyway.. I leave you with my favorite song A Step You Can't Take Back by Keira Knightley (yes.. she sings) So you find yourself at the subway With your world in a bag by your side And all at once, it seemed like a good way You realise, it's the end of the line For what it's worth
I'd rob and I'd kill to keep him with me I'd do anything for that boy I'd give my last dime to hold him tonight I'd do anything for that boy -- Can't remember to forget you / Shakira

Of Tinder - and What we find out about ourselves on the way

Note: If you haven't read yesterday's post , then you'll be a little disconnected but you can proceed anyway. So Ahmed, 35, sent a messaged me last night. His message was an ok icebreaker, except that it was written in poor English. It's not like I'm the queen of spelling or a grammar whiz, but when you use "gonna" without an "am" , and "not sure too" instead of "either", umm, you sort of turn me off instantly. So what does that make me? A picky bitch! Well, yes I am picky, but certainly I am not a bitch. Which reminds me, who was the idiot that came up with the theory that we decrease our high standards of beau-selection as we grow older? I heard that so many times, but I feel its a ridiculous concept. As we grow older, our standards get higher and higher. We've tried and failed so many times before that we're not ready to go through failure again. If he's not at least why settle? You know! Back to the main

Of Tinder - and All the Lengths People Go Through to Find Love

On Fustany.com , Amira-the-brave, went through the effort of trying out "Tinder" for the rest of us. She registered a profile, checked out some people (and weirdo creatures), and even started talking with a guy or two. Nothing solid yet, it's just a experimental phase. That was a spark. See, I was already curious about it to the extent that I actually wanted to start a dating website at some point. Oh.. did I just say that out loud, well, that's probably my next startup. Anyway, I just never proceeded, not out of shyness, but sheer laziness. So today I did two things; I wrote a question on Facebook trying to understand the reactions and impressions people have of meeting someone online/through an app, and I created my Tinder profile. Tinder profile was confusing; which photos to use? what profile to write? I wanted pretty pics, not too crazy, but shows my "fun" side. I wanted a bio that tells a little about who I was without scaring people off because

When Love Died

Yes, love died, about a year ago. No body knows exactly when, but it was sometimes early September or late August. Can you imagine something as big as love dying and no one noticing? Well, people did notice, in a way or another, but rather they couldn't possibly imagine that love , could in fact, die! For some, it changed into other feelings; feelings that could have usually be confused with love - lust, possessiveness , compassion, familiarity, kindness, fear of loneliness or even instinctive protectiveness. But there are a few people who are still lost at see with the void that death of love left behind. They struggle to find meaning. They... Ah well,.. Here are some stories from these people: Scene 4 Greenwich Wednesday, September 4th, 2014 It wasn't very rainy that day, unlike the rest of the week, so Tom thought that today has to be the day. He stopped at Marks and Spenser's on the way to class to pick up some flowers and concealed them cleverly. The day w

Of Extinct Animals

I posted this on Facebook, saving here for safekeeping. I'm obsessed with extinct animals lately. Not the animals themselves of course, I'm no zoologist, but the concept of going extinct and how it must feel. I don't think it happened by chance, I mean the animals must have known; wether they didn't catch Noah's ark or froze in an ice age, they must have known. I imagine the following scenario, (and please ignore my historical mistakes of who got extinct first, as I didn't bother do any studies): The mammoth rests in some cave with his Mrs, after a very long walk. He looked her in the eyes and said, "Sa3deya, I can't take it anymore. We've been moving for ages, continent after continent, looking for dry land. And don't you tell me we have to adapt and evolve. We've even learned to swim and we changed our diet multiples times according to the available vegetation. "Ya 7amdy, 7aram eli enta bet2oolo da" she said back, "A

500 Days of Summer

I think I read it's plot on Wikipedia a long time ago (a sad habit I have), but have always delayed watching it (mostly coincidence but sometimes consciously). I think I didn't want to watch a movie that confirms my fears. It hurts when it's confirmed movies, you see, cause they usually let you dream. So when they say it straight to your face, it really hurts. Tom fell in love with Summer, but for her, he was just a transition.   I hate Summer. I really do. Who does she think she is? She does things that hurt other people just because "she wanted to". She knew he was in love with her and she danced with him. Talk about giving wrong signals. And what really pissed me off, is her going to "his place". It's his place for God's sake, she knew she would bump into him there. Why is she being so selfish! Khalas, you don't want the guy, let him be. Give him space to get a life without you. Really pissed me off to be honest. That said, it's a grea

A Good Day

It's been a looooong time since I had this feeling of satisfaction (alhamdulilah). Today was full day stacked with one thing after the other, but as I sit in bed ready to sleep, I think, what a marvelous day! I wake up super-early, study for 3 hrs, and actually learnt a couple of new tricks. (Wish me luck, the exam is on the 30th) Work work work! Busy with meetings (good ones), proposals and reports (those mean clients, so also good). Finished work, with a mental block 40 mins before my personal training session ( oh yes, I didn't mention I'm working on getting the bikini body ), made a couple of calls to friends and family. An hour and half workout, which left my muscles in sweet pain! And I finally figured out what it was that I did wrong to make the crunches painful to my back. Then dinner: fine cheese, honey and toasted baladi bread. The best end of day mean I could think of. Facial mask, nail polish, eye cream 2 chapters of a witty-humor kinda novel Going off with an o

I wasn't gonna blog but!

I wasn't gonna blog. But I saw this being shared on Facebook and it just hit where it hurts. You didn’t love her. You just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn’t love her, because you don’t destroy the person that you love. Grey's Anatomy 

Trial period

A good friend gave me a good reason (for the first time ever) why I shouldn't be so public about my feelings (mostly people in the past gave the lousiest reasons, really!). Now the trick is that I'm a very public person, and I really like sharing and getting feedback and so forth, so I'll substitute my "personal" and "emotional" blogging from fashion rants , foodie talk and possibly travel. Mostly light and fluffy lifestyle stuff. So, I'm giving it a trial. Starting now, till the end of August, I'm pausing private stuff. After August ends, I'll  see how I feel and proceed accordingly. Yalla, Salam ya helween  

A familiar feeling

I have felt this weight on my chest before. This incredible suffocation and heartache, I know it, although not common, it's rather familiar. It's the bottom line, the end, it's the sign. It is the darkness, right before dawn. Because as familiar as this painful feeling is, as optimistic as it makes me. Khalas, the only way from here is up. I only need a moment before I jump. I'm coming...

The Saddest Poem by Pablo Neruda

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars, and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance." The night wind whirls in the sky and sings. I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too. On nights like this, I held her in my arms. I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky. She loved me, sometimes I loved her. How could I not have loved her large, still eyes? I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her. To hear the immense night, more immense without her. And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass. What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her. The night is full of stars and she is not with me. That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away. My soul is lost without her. As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her. My heart searches for her and she is not with me. The same night that whitens the same t

Good things come

There's a saying, "good things come to those who wait" Honestly, nothing pisses me off more than this saying. Wait?! Wait and do what?!   2a23od keda 7atta 2eedi 3ala khadi w waiting! That is so passive! The days where I have to wait for a phone call or email kill me. Imagine waiting for unknown "good things". Won't ever happen, patience is obviously not my strongest virtue. That said, I'm forced into a waiting phase due to the slow speed of life in Ramadan. But it ends there, after Ramadan, I'm taking things back into my own hand. 2al wait 2al.... Maye7komshi!

ادعوا لهم وادعو لي

قلبي بيتقطع كل يوم لما بفكر في الاسعار الهبل اللي بقت حولينا و بفكر الغلابة هيعملوا ايه. وانا كواحدة عندي هوس السيطرة(  كنترول فريك) الموضوع بيتعبني اكثر كمان لأني عرفة اني مهما عملت مش هعرف اغير حاجة. اسوء حاجتين في الدنيا ان الواحد يشوف ضناه جعان او مريض و مش لاقي حاجة يعملها له لأنه ببساطة ممعاهوش ثمن الأكل او العلاج. بيتقطع قلبي خاصة في رمضان وانا بجيب صنية كنافة بالشوكولاتة ب٢٠٠ جنيه  وانا عارفة ان ال ٢٠٠ جنيه دول هيأكلوا اسرة لمدة شهر.. بعمل اللي عليا في الزكاة وبحاول في الصدقات و باسعى في الخير، بس الموضوع اكبر مني ومن الكنافة.  بيتقطع قلبي اكثر كل يوم من اللي بيحصل في غزة، وفي كذا حتة تانية طبعا، بس جايز انا في دائرة معارفي اكثر تركيز هو مجزرة غزة اليومين دول. انا مش من الناس اللي وخدة قضية فلسطين على قلبها اوي عامة، بس مش ممكن القتل يكون بالطريقة دي لاطفال و ستات كبيرة و شباب زي الورد ويكون عادي كده. جايز انا فعلا قلبي رق عاى الاطفال بعد ما بقى في بوبو في حياتي، او جايز فعلا الميديا بتلعب على الحتة دي عشان تستفزنا نتحرك، في الحالتين، لما اشوف صورة طفل مات حاضن اخوه الصغير

Let's talk about strength

انت أقوى من كده أكيد مش الموضوع ده اللي مزعلك مش حاسة انك مكبرة الموضوع شوية You're just pms-ing Yasmine, be strong! It's probably just stress. That's what you all say, isn't it? You have a certain definition of what strength is and since you define me as a strong woman, then I'm expected to fit in the mould you've created of what a strong woman should be. Well, I'm not sorry to disappoint you, but here is the truth. Strength is honesty; being honest to admit that yes, it may be nothing on your scale but it's a big deal on mine; it affects me, I'm not proud but I'm learning to move on. Strong is accepting vulnerability; I might be strong in my career life, determined, a fighter, a leader, whatever you want to call it, but at night, strong is going to bed when you need a hug and waking up without getting it. Strong is faking it; can you even imagine how many days I put a fake smile and my formal business attire to run the show when all I wanted wa

مرسال لحبيبتي

 مش فاهمة ازاي رغم حبي للقصيدة دي وللأغنية عمري ما نشرتها هنا.. وكل شوية ادور عليها عشان اقرأها. القصيدة الكاملة " مرسال لحبيبتي" لأشرف توفيق “.حَبِيبْتِي ..شَرْطَه مَايْلَه ..فَرَاغْ وهَاكْتُبْ لِيهْ حُرُوفْ إِسْمِكْ؟ مَا هُو انْتِي فْ قَلْبِي سَاكْنَه الْقَلْب عَارْفَه بْقِصِّتِي وْحَالِي ومِينْ غِيرِكْ فِي قَلْبِي اكْتُبْ لُه مِرْسَالِي؟ ..و...... أَمَّا بَعْد مَانِيشْ عَارِفْ جَوَابِي دَا جَوَابِي الكَّامْ مَا عُدتِشْ بَاحْسِب الصّفْحَاتْ مَا عُدتِشْ بَاحْسِب الاّقْلاَمْ مَا عُدتِشْ بَاحْسِب اللّي ضَاعْ مِن الأَحْلاَمْ ..كِفَايَه انِّي بَاحِبِّكْ بس ..وقَلْبِكْ لَوْ بِقَلْبِي حسّ أَوْ شَافْ حَالُه فِي بْعَادِكْ !لَصَلَّى لْرَبُّه واسْتَغْفَرْ لِذَنْبُه...وْصَامْ قُولِي لِي ازّايْ أَحِبِّكْ حُبّ يِرْضِيكِي؟ أَنَا تَايِهْ... وِنِفْسِي اوْصَلْ أَرَاضِيكِي دَا لَوْ كَان الْهَوَا بِالسُّهْد ..انَا سِيدُهْ ولَوْ قُلْتِي انّ حُبِّكْ صُوم ..أَنَا عِيدُهْ ولَوْ حُبِّك فِدَاهْ قَلْبِي أَقَطَّعْ قَلْبِي مِيتْ مَرَّهْ ..وَاقَ

A Mr Good-enough

After obsession, desperation, depression and self blaming comes a moment of peace. A peace within yourself that it's time to turn the page despite how difficult it can be or how much hope you still have left. Only then, you reach a conclusion or rather a realization ; as much as it kills me to say it, it's time to move beyond mr perfect and settle for a mr good-enough.

On happiness and letting it go

"Happiness comes and goes. Let it come. Let it go."  Stumbled upon this saying randomly a few days ago and I can't remember where/who. But it made me stop. Does this mean we should just accept that at times we will be unhappy? Sit there and wait for happiness to come? Sounds extremely difficult for a control freak like me! But there is something relaxing about the thought of not holding on to "expired" happiness, if I may so call it.

Love Liberates

You see, love liberates.  It doesn't bind; love says I love you. I love you if you're in china. I love you if you're across town. I love you if you're in harlem. I love you.  I would like to be near you. I would like to have your arms around me. I would like to have your voice in my ear but thats not possible now; I love you so go. Love liberates; it doesn't hold. Thats ego.  Love liberates. ―  Maya Angelou
As kids, crying was a completely acceptable form of reaction or outlet. If you were scared, you cried. If you were confused, you cried. If you didn't understand a new emotion, it was ok to cry too. If you were too tired, or sick or even disappointed, you cried. If you were too happy, you would refuse to sleep, then get cranky cause you're tired, then cried. (That was a very indirect example, but you get my point, no?) We grew up, and crying wasn't ok any more. It is a sign of weakness. We learned to cry on the inside, to shove it up, to fake strong till you're strong. There is no such thing as confused or exploring new emotions; you're an adult, you should understand yourself, otherwise how can you succeed in life. Then came the point when one realised they failed for so long, and got heart broken so many times, that tears are becoming a commodity, so a decision has to be made; no more tears. But as a self respecting adult, I somehow took this decision too serio

All Of Me

Another amazing song... this time a cover by Luciana Zogbi, of John Legend's song... What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in, and you kicking me out You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down What's going on in that beautiful mind I'm on your magical mystery ride And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

Confessions under the influence

I'm sick, tired, sleepy, and honestly freaking out about my new decisions.  I'm concerned for my family, my business, the future of the country, and a million other important things. I admit it, I am scared. And that's big, I never admit being scared, not even to myself. But what scares me even more is that that's it. It's like in my head there has always been a part two but now I realize that no there isn't. And that completely freaks me out. I miss you; not the special things, the everyday things; like the way you paused thinking of the perfect words before you answered any question ( I miss those few seconds, I keep thinking if I talked less, would things have been different), I miss the way you laughed at what I said when you thought it was funny and I was being all serious ( there was this moment where u tilt your head back right before you start laughing, that's when I realized you'll laugh. If I had made you laugh more, would I have had more memor

Dubai - Again

Why is it that Dubai always evokes memories and triggers a thought process!? No idea. Dubai intimidates me. It's too fast, high, fake, consumeristic, violent... too city... too cosmopolitan... too lonely. But this trip, I learned something new, I learned one can still be intimidated and move on. Dubai, as intimidating as it is, actually moved into my comfort zone. Which is sad, to tell you the truth,  why being intimidating and lonely becomes "comfort". I took it as a sign that I'm ready for the next chapter of my life. Or is my mind playing this trick to force me to become ok with intimidating and lonely intentionally to prepare for the next chapter? I can't tell the difference anymore. But it's ok

My angry girl song of the year

So this song... I love it but I have to admit I don't personally  relate (not to the details at least). This is what I listen to when I'm angry, or when I need to get angry. This is what I listen to when  I need energy to run, to get negative thoughts out of my head, And it hurts so bad, we coulda worked on that Cause you say you love me, but real love don't work like that The truth is, I left a piece of me in a piece I gave you And I tend to laugh and crack a smile when things get painful Said I crack a smile when things get painful Remembering the moments when I used to date you Rolex's don't tick-tock But damn it baby, my time costs And damn it baby, my time is money So I need payback for all the time lost It's my angry girl song of the year. Enjoy!

Dear Mr

Dear Mr midlife crisis I know you're at the stage where you'll claim this is not true and that you're just being friends, but this scenario is becoming a textbook case study; I've seen the likes of you so many times in the last few years. Let me put it for you this way; go buy a fucking porche or mesarti because I am not interested to keep your company till your crisis passes. And sorry for the foul language but khalas, I've had it with this script. Not yours, Truly, Pissed off zeww!

Pride issues and curiousity

I used to claim I have no dignity/ pride issues, in the sense that I'll do what's right even if it hurts my pride or make me look like an idiot. This claim is no longer valid, I'm afraid.  Like everything else, he introduced me to feelings I never experienced before; I don't even know the right words to describe this feeling; one where I am held back by pride. I know that he is the one who knows and understands me most. I also know that he could give the best advice on the phase I'm going through, despite me not liking what he says (sometimes). He ends up being right (most of the time). But like I said, I'm held back by an invisible rope of fire; hurts when I get excited and try to be proactive, but still burns even when I'm standing still. Damn; it's like a part of me wants his blessing and the other part is afraid to get it. It's a vicious circle, really. I keep thinking, am I overthinking? Am I being a drama queen? Or am I simply more in touch wit

Back off, ok?!

I think if I'm blocking you on social media and not replying to your comments and emails, then really, I don't want to talk to you. Please leave it at that. This is way too creepy.

Peak

If I can just have a peak into your brain and figure out how it works. I seriously don't get it; what are you doing? What do you want? And are you  aware of the consequences? I can think of a million questions yet I just want a sneak peak.

Sweet Poison

I don't have you, so I become you; cold, heartless but oh so sweet, like addictive poison. To get over guys, girls get a hair cut, but I build empires; I change the world. Nothing ever satisfies me . But had you loved me, it would have been enough,. ... my dear sweet poison.

Running on Faith

Sometimes, you'd hear a song on the radio, or by "random" or "shuffle" on your playlist, and then it strikes a chord.... And we go running on faith... All of our dreams would come true... And our world would be right... When love comes over me and you...

مسافرة ومسامحة

انت عارفة انها مش عمرة ولا حج، دي حتة رحلة، حتى فسحة مش شغل، فبالتالي مالوش اي لازمة اللي انا بكتبه ده. انا بس لقيت موت كثير حولينا الفترة اللي فاتت فقلت مافيش مانع أقول اللي في قلبي بسرعة. انا مسافرة وقلبي صافي. مسامحة حتى اللي جرحني او ظلمني. ويعتذر للي غلط في حقهم. ربنا وحده اللي يعلم أني بحسب الحاجة ١٠٠٠ مرة لو فيها حق حد من البشر. لو حصل لي حاجة سامحوني وافتكروني بالخير سلام مؤقت

آااااااااه

آااااااااه سامعها؟ الآه دي؟ طالعة من جوايا بحرقة اوي. لأ مش تنهيدة، دي آه بتاعة الوجع اللي مهما طال الزمن مبيروحش عارف؟ ده بقى زي صوت المنبه الجديد. أول ما تجيبه، بتبقى سامع كل حركة عقرب في كل ثانية لدرجة انك هتتجنن، وبعد شوية بتاخد على الصوت، بيدخل في اللا وعي بتاعك، بيكون عادي انك سامعه، مش حاسس بإزعاج من أي نوع. لحد ما هيجي يوم مش جاي لك نوم وساعتها هتدرك قد ايه صوت المنبه ده مزعج ومؤلم للغاية. تصور بقى حالتي لما اكون مش عارفة انام وكل شوية اصحى من صوت العقارب عشان اللاقي المنبه من غير ما اضبطه، رن! اه رن وصحاني مسروعة ومرعوبة ومش عارفة اعمل ايه. انا كنت بدأت انسى ان المنبه ده له صوت اصلا و بدأت اتعايش مع صوت العقارب على ازعاجها بس عايشين ومستورة. يجي المنبه كده يرن. والله كثير.  وتيجي هنا بأه الآااااااااه الطويلة. ، سامعها؟ انت السبب فيها. ايوه انت. اصل انا قبل كده كنت دائما بلوم نفسي. انا اللي غبية. انا اللي مدلوقة. انا اللي فهمت غلط. طب انا اللي كبرت الموضوع، انا اللي.... انا اللي... بس لأ كفاية. انت المفروض تتحمل المسؤولية شوية .. كفاية انانية وفكر فيا شوية. هو

The Aquarian Girl

In youth, the Aquarian girl drapes her dream-lover with a sparkling halo of impossible rainbow-spectrumed beauty, which could never fit around the head and shoulders of the average male with the usual number of flaws and defects of character. But she learns to hide her vulnerability under the guise of a cool, de- tached, friendly "let's pal around together" attitude as she settles for something less, all the time secretly treasuring the sentimental illusions of youth. 

ماتفوتنيش انا وحدي

وكمان اغنية لمسار إجباري عشان تمشي مع الموود العام وارجع تاني اقول لك ريحني الله يخليك عشان المركب تقدر تمشي بي وبيك ماتفوتنيش انا وحدي  افضل احايل فيك ماتخليش الدنيا تلعب بيا و بيك خلي شوية علي وشوية عليك

I wonder

So I have a question for all you relationship experts out there. You see, I miss him (so very much to be honest). And I keep meeting all those people, like it's raining men (finally!). But no one is ever good enough. But then, I knew that he will be impossible to replace, and hence is why I walked out in the first place. But then again, one really has to move on, right? My question to you is: Is it normal? To not like anyone else? That no one feels the void? That I don't feel I'm me with him not being around? To keep comparing? To still feel my heart break every day he doesn't call (which is everyday but that's besides the point anyway)? To keep wishing for someone just like him except, well, there (for a change)? Is it normal? I mean, that's rebound/getting over someone, right? Everyone goes through this and I'll be fine in a few months (or hopefully weeks), right? I will stop feeling the emptiness, right? My heart will not break everyday, right? O

أنا هويت

رغم ان النسخة الأصلية بصوت سيد درويش رائعة، أنا بعشق نسخت مسار إجباري  أنا هويــــت وانتهيــــت                        وليه بقى لوم العــــــزول يحب إنى أقـــول ياريت                         الحـــب ده عنى يــــزول ما دمت انا بهجره ارتضيت                  خللى بقى اللى يقول يقول If you're reading this. If you actually still care enough to read this rubbish I write here ; or let me rephrase, if you are still curious or wonder whether I think of you or not. This songs reminds me of you, over and over again. You break my heart every single day.