A piece of my mind

When the tears became knives that cut through the swollen wounds on my cheeks, I wished on a starless night that the moon would cast a spell on my vulnerable and emotional heart, to stop those damn tears. So now, I pay the price, of my reckless wish. Since the tears disappeared, nothing wash away the pain , and instead I end up feeling the bitterness taking over me. And that vulnerable and emotional heart of mine is now turning to stone. But you know what's worse, I'm not sure I want that to go away!

(This post is adult rated and not to the faint of heart ; it has explicit content, profanity and a deep questioning of life, the universe and everything. Proceed at your own responsibility.) The original idea of this post started by a conversation with R about my relationship-phobia. He said I should start blogging about an alternative me who lives in a different world with a different set of beliefs yet went through similar circumstances in life; perhaps a Swedish blonde. The only reason why we chose Swedish is just to say far away from me. I mean, if my looks and my beliefs affect who I really am, then maybe a Swedish blonde with blue eyes who is as far away from my religious beliefs would just be a good starting point. My point being, I have nothing special for or against Swedish people. Anyway, before I begin my trail of thought with you, I'd like to differentiate between commitment-phobia and relationship-phobia. I think the later is an advanced stage of the first. Commitment

A song list that I've been listening to since the beginning of June, so i thought of sharing with you: 1-Somebody's Baby by Andru Donalds 2-Days Like This by Van Morrison 3-Right To Be Wrong by Joss Stone 4-Hate Me by Blue October 5-As The Rain by Jeb Roy Nichols 6-Miss Misery by Elliott Smith 7-Standing Still by Jewel 8-Mad World by Tears for fears 9-Tears And Rain by James Blunt 10-In My Secret Life by Katie Melua 11-World Spins Madly On by The Weepies 12-How To Save A Life by The Fray 13-Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol 14- Seven Days by Sting

Introduction As it happens, my parents are very popular people; so everyone they know wants to somehow favor them by proposing a potential suitor for the eldest unmarried spinster daughter that is me, humbly. So, last weekend , my father ,after not having the opportunity to talk for a while, instead of bonding and sharing a father-daughter moment, decides to ruin the mood and bring up the whole "Yasmine, you're older now, we have to get you married" conversation. And then, he talks about 3 potential suitors just to make this conversation even more dramatic. For a change, I decided to be polite, obedient and just listen to what he has to say without arguing and just let him get it over with. Assumptions Having actually heard the options available on the market these days (sorry for putting it this way, but it just seems like it), I realized, that, actually there are a few interesting people one can possibly meet. Aside from my views regarding arranged marriages and blind d

A couple of weeks back, my manager/mentor/friend R mentioned a very interesting conclusion about aquarian women (his wife is an aquarian too), which I haven't noticed before. He thinks that we , aquarian women, are very good planners when it comes to either short term plans or really long term plans. The problem is, we don't have any sense of planning things in the middle. Short term like a day or a week ahead is easy, well planned and probably the preparation for the plan is being executed as we speak. Let me give you an example, what are my plans for the weekend? That's easy! I can give you a detailed plan with options, timing, pros and cons of each alternative , a budget and a list of contact persons, just off the top of my head. It comes naturally to me. Really long term like years ahead in easy ,too. For example, what are my life plans or what do I want to do when I'm 30? Easy..I'd like to keep them to myself for now...but really really easy! The tricky part is

Cool song, The world spins madly on by The Weepies. Came across this song, on Grey's Anatomy, like everything else I come across these days. But I kept on thinking, where did I hear it before? And then I realized I actually have this song, as part of Because I said so soundtrack, which is another really cool movie. Anyway, I leave you with the lyrics: Woke up and wished that I was dead With an aching in my head I lay motionless in bed I thought of you and where you'd gone and let the world spin madly on Everything that I said I'd do Like make the world brand new And take the time for you I just got lost and slept right through the dawn And the world spins madly on I let the day go by I always say goodbye I watch the stars from my window sill The whole world is moving and I'm standing still Woke up and wished that I was dead With an aching in my head I lay motionless in bed The night is here and the day is gone And the world spins madly on I thought of you and where yo