I'm sick, tired, sleepy, and honestly freaking out about my new decisions. I'm concerned for my family, my business, the future of the country, and a million other important things. I admit it, I am scared. And that's big, I never admit being scared, not even to myself.
But what scares me even more is that that's it. It's like in my head there has always been a part two but now I realize that no there isn't. And that completely freaks me out.
I miss you; not the special things, the everyday things; like the way you paused thinking of the perfect words before you answered any question ( I miss those few seconds, I keep thinking if I talked less, would things have been different), I miss the way you laughed at what I said when you thought it was funny and I was being all serious ( there was this moment where u tilt your head back right before you start laughing, that's when I realized you'll laugh. If I had made you laugh more, would I have had more memories?). I miss the irritating things too; like how you'd be extra sweet when you try to hide something that you know will piss me off, or how you would disappear and procrastinate hoping I'd forget about it, or how you constantly make me feel like it's in my head ( up to this point, I'm still not sure it's not). But I miss you. Come back. Or don't. It's still in my head, isn't it.
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