A few days back, someone called me a 'gorgeous woman'. Now, besides the fact that it's an amazing compliment, just made me think 'who are u talking to?' . I never saw myself as a 'woman', I mean, yes of course in gender terms, I am a woman. But I always saw myself as a 'girl'. Only very recently did I start accepting the term 'lady', now you're telling me 'woman'?!. It's odd I know.
Woman is my mother, or someone else's. Or a femme fatal , or sexy boss in some box office movie. By all means, not me.
I think i refer to women in two scenarios, either a combo of age + wisdom(hence mother) or some level of sexiness (hence femme fatal). Again, so not me!
Another theory could be like Sylvia Plath classified in the bell jar; ' I saw the world divided into people who had slept with somebody and people who hadn’t, and this seemed the only really significant difference between one person and another'. Could this be the difference between a woman and a girl? Probably so actually!
So where does that leave me? It's already hard for me to accept compliments as is. I feel 'you're making that up' or 'you're exaggerating'. But people get the benefit of doubt for attempting something sweet anyway. Now my sick brain has to actually dissect it kaman? Da eih el nakkad da!
I wish I could just accept a good compliment and be happy. But for now, I'll try to picture myself as a gorgeous woman :)