Not being able to sleep, he goes to the tiny balcony in his hotel room, feeling suffocated indoors. As he lights his cigarette, he sees her light on, and hesitates, but after finishing that cigarette, he decided he'll give her a call. She didn't pick up at first, so he sent her an sms "Pick up! I know you're not sleeping" and he called again.
She picks up and says "Actually, I was NOT awake" , in a very sleepy voice.
"Lair! I see your light on and I know you can only sleep in the dark."
"Again, it's not on. You must have confused my room with another one"
"Uuuggh... sorry..really sorry"
"Is everything ok?"
"Uhm, well , yeah! It's just that I was thinking about our meeting earlier this morning and I .."stopping to realize he was saying alot of rubbish and thinking to himself that there must be something he can talk about other than the meeting
"You were thinking about the meeting at 2 a.m.?"
"I know I know... sorry again.. we'll talk tomorrow. Good night and sweet dreams."
"Good night", she hung up.
15 minutes later, he still can't sleep and she's still on his mind, so he called again.
"Yes?"
"Me again"
"I figured! You won't let me get any sleep, will you?" in a sarcastic but sleepy tone
"I'm really really sorry.."
"Stop apologizing, I won't be able to sleep anyway."
"It's just that, well, I think we should talk"
"Well, let's talk. About the meeting?"
"Damn the meeting. It's about us"
"Us?" her heart sinks, and she tries to stay cool
"Yes, us! Us and that ridiculous game we're playing!"
"I think I'm still sleepy, what game?" thinking to herself that she has to stay cool, she must show any emotions, she simply can't
"This game. This denial. This pretense. When are you going to stop pretending to be cool about it when you clearly feel about me the way I feel about you"
"I.."
"Don't bother denying, even though you're subtle, your eyes give you away, and I CAN tell. And yes, I feel the same way and yes I can't sleep thinking about you"
"Even, if what you say is true, what will you have me do?! You know that.. it's .. wrong, maybe even impossible.. you are.... and I .. It's just too complicated"
"I know. I know. That's exactly why I haven't been getting any sleep in the last few months. But.. well.."
"what?"
"Can't we just give it a shot? Enjoy it while it lasts? you know..."
"Hey!"
"what?"
"If you know me at all, you'd know I'm not that kind of person"
"I didn't mean it this way"
"Then what DID you mean?"
"Let's sit and talk about it?"
"Now?"
"Yes now. I'm coming to your room"
"No, wait. It's not right"
"Don't be narrow minded."
"Well I am!"
"What if you come to my room? You can leave whenever you want"
"That's not any better , is it?"
"Come on girl! Nothing will happen. Or at least nothing that you don't want"
"Stop flirting! I am not coming. We can continue talking in the mor.."
"Girl...calm down. I have a solution; meet me in the corridor between the rooms. If you feel I cross the red line, leave, ok?"
"You already crossed the red line a loooong time ago"
"Come on! Corridor now!"
"I need , like 5 mins, to dress up"
"No, no no no! Come now. Are you too shy about your pajamas? Red silk lingerie or what?"
"In your dreams! I'll be out in 5 mins", altough she said she'll meet him, it's really scary. Lots of mixed feelings; excitement maybe, fear of consequences probably, butterflies in her stomach definitely.
She can see his cigarette light in the dark corridor a couple of steps ahead. She approaches with her arms around her waist holding herself together from this sudden overflow of emotions, knowing she might breakdown her coolness and strength any minute. It's been months and she almost succeeded to hide it but now, it's very doubtful she'll keep the cool for long. She smiles and says "Hi"
"Hi to you. So I don't get to see the sexy lingerie after all?" he says with a smile
"Nope. You get the T-shirt and sweatpants"
"Damn!" he says with a smile and a wink
"I .. I really don't understand you. You confuse me. I thought you were the conservative one"
"Me?! Conservative? How? Why?"
"You always.. well.. look at you flirting openly now. But.. but you always let me down when I flirted, even subtly, that I got so ashamed of myself, though I'm comfortable flirting playfully with everyone else. But you! When I'm around you I seem to always say the wrong thing at the wrong time or worse... not be able to say anything at all."
"Wow! That's the longest sentence you said in these last few weeks. So let me put this straight, you never felt I , and I quote you ,"flirted" back?"
"No"
"No?"
"Well.. on rarely. I sort of felt something but I always doubted myself."
"Doubted yourself how?"
"I always wondered whether it was a move or whether my mind was playing tricks on me"
"Interesting! So tell me, is this " he moves closer to her trapping her between his body and the wall, with both his hands on her side and says seductively with his eyes fixated on hers, " a move?"
"This" , she looks at him in a way between challenging and flirting , smiles and quickly bends her knees and sits on the floor with her back to the wall, "is certainly my mind playing tricks on me!"
He smiles, "You're amazing!", and sits on the floor beside her.
"And you are rude."
"But you love me never the less?"
"Love is a very strong word to use in this situation"
"Is that so?"
"yes"
"Well do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Do you love me?"
And at that point, all the walls and barriers she kept just melted. She just couldn't hide it anymore; it was pointless to try to keep it inside her and she said "More than you can possibly imagine", with a sigh
"That was... uhh.. very real" he was not prepared for this kind of answer. And, the way it came out, moved him, he never felt anything that real or that strong in a long time, maybe even, never before.
"It is very real", in a low voice looking away from him
"Are those tears? Are you crying?"
"No, I'm not"
"Yes you are!", he gently pulls her face to him , with a finger rubs away her tears and says "why? I don't understand. Tell me"
She pulls herself together, with both her hands rubs her tears, puts a fake smile on her face but doesn't say a word
"Please?", putting his arm around her pulling her closer.
"I just love you so much. And you... you are. Well you know! And it hurts inside, so bad sometimes, and it makes me feel guilty all the time. And you just come like that, after I tried so hard to preserve myself and you just wonder if it's real?! Well, it is real. I AM real and genuine and I love you and it hurts and it's really all quite real and and.. and"
"Girl, that's all beautiful. I know you're real and I know you are genuine. And I feel the same way I swear. So why cry?"
"Because I know I won't ever feel your arms around me like this ever again"
"It doesn't have to be this way. It can't. I'll find a way.."
"Don't fool yourself nor fool me. We both know"
They both stop talking for a while but he says "But at least we have this moment to remember"
"You're right", she replied as she rested her head on his shoulder
He turns to look at her, their eyes meet, and he approaches to kiss her but she says, "Don't"
He stops , but doesn't turn back , nor moves forward
"Please don't", she continues, "I don't want to have any regrets about tonight. I want to save the memory. I just want to enjoy this...the way you hold me.. I have never been held like this before. If it's okay with you?"
He adjusts himself, "Of course it's okay", he sits with back to the wall, pulls her slowly in front of him and wraps both his arms around her and then says "Let us enjoy what remains of this night"
She picks up and says "Actually, I was NOT awake" , in a very sleepy voice.
"Lair! I see your light on and I know you can only sleep in the dark."
"Again, it's not on. You must have confused my room with another one"
"Uuuggh... sorry..really sorry"
"Is everything ok?"
"Uhm, well , yeah! It's just that I was thinking about our meeting earlier this morning and I .."stopping to realize he was saying alot of rubbish and thinking to himself that there must be something he can talk about other than the meeting
"You were thinking about the meeting at 2 a.m.?"
"I know I know... sorry again.. we'll talk tomorrow. Good night and sweet dreams."
"Good night", she hung up.
15 minutes later, he still can't sleep and she's still on his mind, so he called again.
"Yes?"
"Me again"
"I figured! You won't let me get any sleep, will you?" in a sarcastic but sleepy tone
"I'm really really sorry.."
"Stop apologizing, I won't be able to sleep anyway."
"It's just that, well, I think we should talk"
"Well, let's talk. About the meeting?"
"Damn the meeting. It's about us"
"Us?" her heart sinks, and she tries to stay cool
"Yes, us! Us and that ridiculous game we're playing!"
"I think I'm still sleepy, what game?" thinking to herself that she has to stay cool, she must show any emotions, she simply can't
"This game. This denial. This pretense. When are you going to stop pretending to be cool about it when you clearly feel about me the way I feel about you"
"I.."
"Don't bother denying, even though you're subtle, your eyes give you away, and I CAN tell. And yes, I feel the same way and yes I can't sleep thinking about you"
"Even, if what you say is true, what will you have me do?! You know that.. it's .. wrong, maybe even impossible.. you are.... and I .. It's just too complicated"
"I know. I know. That's exactly why I haven't been getting any sleep in the last few months. But.. well.."
"what?"
"Can't we just give it a shot? Enjoy it while it lasts? you know..."
"Hey!"
"what?"
"If you know me at all, you'd know I'm not that kind of person"
"I didn't mean it this way"
"Then what DID you mean?"
"Let's sit and talk about it?"
"Now?"
"Yes now. I'm coming to your room"
"No, wait. It's not right"
"Don't be narrow minded."
"Well I am!"
"What if you come to my room? You can leave whenever you want"
"That's not any better , is it?"
"Come on girl! Nothing will happen. Or at least nothing that you don't want"
"Stop flirting! I am not coming. We can continue talking in the mor.."
"Girl...calm down. I have a solution; meet me in the corridor between the rooms. If you feel I cross the red line, leave, ok?"
"You already crossed the red line a loooong time ago"
"Come on! Corridor now!"
"I need , like 5 mins, to dress up"
"No, no no no! Come now. Are you too shy about your pajamas? Red silk lingerie or what?"
"In your dreams! I'll be out in 5 mins", altough she said she'll meet him, it's really scary. Lots of mixed feelings; excitement maybe, fear of consequences probably, butterflies in her stomach definitely.
She can see his cigarette light in the dark corridor a couple of steps ahead. She approaches with her arms around her waist holding herself together from this sudden overflow of emotions, knowing she might breakdown her coolness and strength any minute. It's been months and she almost succeeded to hide it but now, it's very doubtful she'll keep the cool for long. She smiles and says "Hi"
"Hi to you. So I don't get to see the sexy lingerie after all?" he says with a smile
"Nope. You get the T-shirt and sweatpants"
"Damn!" he says with a smile and a wink
"I .. I really don't understand you. You confuse me. I thought you were the conservative one"
"Me?! Conservative? How? Why?"
"You always.. well.. look at you flirting openly now. But.. but you always let me down when I flirted, even subtly, that I got so ashamed of myself, though I'm comfortable flirting playfully with everyone else. But you! When I'm around you I seem to always say the wrong thing at the wrong time or worse... not be able to say anything at all."
"Wow! That's the longest sentence you said in these last few weeks. So let me put this straight, you never felt I , and I quote you ,"flirted" back?"
"No"
"No?"
"Well.. on rarely. I sort of felt something but I always doubted myself."
"Doubted yourself how?"
"I always wondered whether it was a move or whether my mind was playing tricks on me"
"Interesting! So tell me, is this " he moves closer to her trapping her between his body and the wall, with both his hands on her side and says seductively with his eyes fixated on hers, " a move?"
"This" , she looks at him in a way between challenging and flirting , smiles and quickly bends her knees and sits on the floor with her back to the wall, "is certainly my mind playing tricks on me!"
He smiles, "You're amazing!", and sits on the floor beside her.
"And you are rude."
"But you love me never the less?"
"Love is a very strong word to use in this situation"
"Is that so?"
"yes"
"Well do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Do you love me?"
And at that point, all the walls and barriers she kept just melted. She just couldn't hide it anymore; it was pointless to try to keep it inside her and she said "More than you can possibly imagine", with a sigh
"That was... uhh.. very real" he was not prepared for this kind of answer. And, the way it came out, moved him, he never felt anything that real or that strong in a long time, maybe even, never before.
"It is very real", in a low voice looking away from him
"Are those tears? Are you crying?"
"No, I'm not"
"Yes you are!", he gently pulls her face to him , with a finger rubs away her tears and says "why? I don't understand. Tell me"
She pulls herself together, with both her hands rubs her tears, puts a fake smile on her face but doesn't say a word
"Please?", putting his arm around her pulling her closer.
"I just love you so much. And you... you are. Well you know! And it hurts inside, so bad sometimes, and it makes me feel guilty all the time. And you just come like that, after I tried so hard to preserve myself and you just wonder if it's real?! Well, it is real. I AM real and genuine and I love you and it hurts and it's really all quite real and and.. and"
"Girl, that's all beautiful. I know you're real and I know you are genuine. And I feel the same way I swear. So why cry?"
"Because I know I won't ever feel your arms around me like this ever again"
"It doesn't have to be this way. It can't. I'll find a way.."
"Don't fool yourself nor fool me. We both know"
They both stop talking for a while but he says "But at least we have this moment to remember"
"You're right", she replied as she rested her head on his shoulder
He turns to look at her, their eyes meet, and he approaches to kiss her but she says, "Don't"
He stops , but doesn't turn back , nor moves forward
"Please don't", she continues, "I don't want to have any regrets about tonight. I want to save the memory. I just want to enjoy this...the way you hold me.. I have never been held like this before. If it's okay with you?"
He adjusts himself, "Of course it's okay", he sits with back to the wall, pulls her slowly in front of him and wraps both his arms around her and then says "Let us enjoy what remains of this night"
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