Pre-London, I had many groups of friends, each with their own mindset, sense of style, definition of what's cool and what's not, what's wrong and what's right, what is fun..etc. I used to try so hard to belong to each of these groups , to fit in only to realize that I was just a little bit different. Yes, they are all my friends. Yes , I have a lot in common with them. But there was just something missing. I always felt like something was missing, no one understood what I felt, what I want ...etc. I made it a point to prove I was different than everyone I met.
Post-London, I had much more groups of friends, again, each with their own everything. I refused to admit I belonged to any particular one, but naturally, I found myself at ease with everyone. I believed in the concept of "one", that we are all the same, no matter how much we claimed otherwise. I made it a point whenever people would say that I was every other person. When people would say that I changed, or that I was so unique, I'd argue so hard to prove that no, I'm not, I'm just like you... whoever you are, whatever you are. And I was comfortable with this belief for a while.
Then a while back, when I started to doubt and re-question everything. I questioned my own self.. was I the same as everyone else or was I unique and different. Then I came to the comfortable realization that "I am unique, so is everyone else", which although satisfying as a theory, doesn't really work in real life, because we all struggle to belong somewhere.. anywhere.
But last summer, I have been fortunate enough to actually belong somewhere. Somewhere where I don't have to match up to any expectations, to defend my quirky side, to fake shyness or pretend enthusiasm; somewhere where everyone is weird in their own way. A tradition of 5 o'clock chats has started at work where my friends gather up in our room "the business room" to talk about every single thought that might cross any of our minds. No taboos, no boundaries, no irony, no sarcasm, everyone respecting other people's point of view no matter how absurd it sounds. These 5 o'clock little chats have been one of the very few things that I actually look forward to in life. One of us would usually bring the group chocolate, or soda. We all know each other's preferences by heart. We all respect each other. We all care for each other. And although each of us has his or her own way, background, thoughts and ideas,...etc, we all agree on being one entity, I don't even have a name for that.
Finding this belongings has actually given me peace of mind. I know that no matter what happens through the night, I will find my support group the next morning. But weekends started to be soo long, boring and tasteless. And work hours started to grow longer and longer, and we don't mind working, cause we're having fun. Then when you work long hours, you stop having a life, cause life at work is pretty satisfying. So we become workaholic losers who have no lives. So in brief, this post, is a little tribute to my looser friends; who I am sure will not be offended when I say losers. Guys and gals; you made my life so much better, so thank you.
Post-London, I had much more groups of friends, again, each with their own everything. I refused to admit I belonged to any particular one, but naturally, I found myself at ease with everyone. I believed in the concept of "one", that we are all the same, no matter how much we claimed otherwise. I made it a point whenever people would say that I was every other person. When people would say that I changed, or that I was so unique, I'd argue so hard to prove that no, I'm not, I'm just like you... whoever you are, whatever you are. And I was comfortable with this belief for a while.
Then a while back, when I started to doubt and re-question everything. I questioned my own self.. was I the same as everyone else or was I unique and different. Then I came to the comfortable realization that "I am unique, so is everyone else", which although satisfying as a theory, doesn't really work in real life, because we all struggle to belong somewhere.. anywhere.
But last summer, I have been fortunate enough to actually belong somewhere. Somewhere where I don't have to match up to any expectations, to defend my quirky side, to fake shyness or pretend enthusiasm; somewhere where everyone is weird in their own way. A tradition of 5 o'clock chats has started at work where my friends gather up in our room "the business room" to talk about every single thought that might cross any of our minds. No taboos, no boundaries, no irony, no sarcasm, everyone respecting other people's point of view no matter how absurd it sounds. These 5 o'clock little chats have been one of the very few things that I actually look forward to in life. One of us would usually bring the group chocolate, or soda. We all know each other's preferences by heart. We all respect each other. We all care for each other. And although each of us has his or her own way, background, thoughts and ideas,...etc, we all agree on being one entity, I don't even have a name for that.
Finding this belongings has actually given me peace of mind. I know that no matter what happens through the night, I will find my support group the next morning. But weekends started to be soo long, boring and tasteless. And work hours started to grow longer and longer, and we don't mind working, cause we're having fun. Then when you work long hours, you stop having a life, cause life at work is pretty satisfying. So we become workaholic losers who have no lives. So in brief, this post, is a little tribute to my looser friends; who I am sure will not be offended when I say losers. Guys and gals; you made my life so much better, so thank you.
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