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Ku

The Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy has this to say about Ku:
Ku is a scale which helps classify people. Some people have high Ku, some people have average and some have low Ku. The Ku scale is not an indication whether the person is good or evil, nice or nasty and by all means does not tell how one likes or dislike another person.

Ku is a virtual substance, which means it can not be seen, felt, smelt, heard or tasted. However, if it were real, it would have been soft, rubber-like, hazelnut-smelling, glow in the dark green substance which if seen under a microscope with very high intensity , it's molecules will look like strings of Nemo-like fishes swimming around aimlessly in circles.

Caution:
If in the rarest chance you come across some Ku in a sealed test tube and are curious enough to unseal it. Beware of the following:
  • Under no circumstances are you to unseal it by cutting the blue wire. If you cut the blue wire, all the Ku will escape out of the tube, turn into purple butterflies which will die of sadness for being tricked into exsitance. No one is sure how you will react to the sight of dead ,sad ,tricked, purple butterflies of Ku origin but we guarantee it wont be nice.
  • On the other hand, if you cut the red wire, the wire will start a chain reaction where nothing will happen to the Ku but you will , on the first breath and reaction to oxygen, pop and turn into a blue flame.
  • If by any miracle, you find a way around cutting wires, or/and gain direct access to the Ku, please contact the author who will definitely find a way to prove you are lying.

The name Ku originated from , Yasmine El-Mehairy , aka zeww, who discovered Ku. There are several theories as to the origins of the name, here are some of them:
  • Yasmine and her siblings used to call each other Ku, which had no real relevance to their actual names and can be used simultaneously to indicate any of them three. It drove their parents crazy.
  • It was a fictional language that she saw on a movie once and she liked the sound of the word.
  • It sounds slightly like the word "cool" ; the word "cool" was widely used at her time to mean appealing or trendy.
All or none of these theories might be true.


The Ku scale measures the amount of Ku one has.
People with high Ku are fast, restless, determinant, inquisitive, unconventional and stubborn. Due to the previous qualities, they are known to be intellectual, rebellious and sophisticated. They most likely have tried all sorts of activities, read many varieties of books, hanged out with all sorts of crowds and have the weirdest of friends. They have all sorts of stories to tell.They have individualistic and uncommon ideas. They are fighters in nature, it is easier for them to fight than to quit. They get bored so easily, which makes them try all sorts of things in hope to find the "one" thing that will make them happy , which once they find, they will get bored of and drop for a new inquisition. They are always in a race with time and sometimes over ambitious and unrealistic.

On the good side, these people will be really creative, interesting, entertaining , fun , warm and emotional. On the bad side, they are unstable, unpredictable, pig-headed and slightly eccentric.


People with low Ku are calm, patient, loyal, and affectionate. They are usually dependable, responsible, solid. And due to the previous characteristics they tend to be dreamy , artistic, focused on today rather than tomorrow. They have amazing eye for details. They are excellent with social skills and are usually seen as graceful and mellow. They are subtle and blend in crowds very easily, allowing people to open up to them very easily which gives them an interesting insight into the human soul. They are peaceful but are reluctant to change.

On the good side they are reliable, stable, cautious , romantic, and down-to-earth. On the bad side, they are lazy, cold, indecisive and aloof.

The word Ku has been utilized alot in common language. Examples of its usage are:
  • Man, have some Ku...go back and kick his @$$!
  • Why do you think I should give you this job?-- Sir, I have the Ku for it, and I will do what it takes to get that job.
  • Forever! Don't you think that's a long time?! --Baby, relax, I got the Ku to spin your world!
  • I'm tired of one interesting Johny Bravo,after another. I want a no Ku what-so-ever , a house in the suburbs and 3 children.
  • May the Ku be with you!
Dear Readers The Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy kindly asks you to rate the author of this article on a Ku-scale from 1 to 10. 1 being the least Ku and 10 being the most. The rating you submit will not be used against you and will is being collected for demographic purposes only.

Comments

Vile said…
you should get a 10 on the ku scale for just mentioning HHGTTG.
Musings of R said…
Ku, is, hummm, Ku. If you don't understand things like, "just "be" ", or Austin Power's "Mojo", then you are on the low end of the Ku scale. The author has made great strides in helping you understand. If you don't get it, then damn, you don't definitely have any Ku man!
Thank you Ms. Mehairy for tempering with the Ku, be aware as it might rebel against you and, that, as your humble friend can tell you, ain't pretty! In the meantime, this article is high on Ku!

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