الفرق بين الطبخ على نار هادئة والطبخ السريع

I wish I could wake up one day and feel beautiful and desirable. Not desirable by the public, but by that special person that I choose. But the problem is, I am notorious for a history of wrong choices. Choices that were wrong to start with and ended up absolutely wrong, which end up in me feeling less desirable, less wanted, ... less of a woman, which is ok most of the time, just not today.

For reality has it, that when I gave my heart to someone, I wanted to know everything there is to know about him; what he says and what he doesn't. And most importantly, why he left. I could always ask, but what if he still doesn't want to reply. Should I go around stalking the hell out of him looking for my  answer? No, I won't, out of respect for his privacy which he cherishes so much.  It's funny that I actually remember a conversation that we had; I said if I was to wish for a superpower, I'd want to read minds and he said that it was a horrible thing to wish for. I wonder why. What doesn't he want me to know, so bad, that he actually thinks its a horrible thing to read? Regardless. I promised I won't ask for something not within my right and so I respect his privacy. Then what? Wait for a miracle? No, I don't. It's not even a hint, its a clear plain fact; I did or triggered something so huge that I am no longer  welcomed in his life. I might as well get it and move on. My brain gets it but refuses to move on. I really want to, I just don't know how when someone left a mark in my life.