Skip to main content

Brain dump: flying

It can't be a daydream; day dreams are supposed to be pleasant. It can't be a nightmare either, because it's isn't night , nor am I sleeping. Listening to songs that remind me of times of hardship, in a crowded street on the way home, I see, feel and hear all those sobs of pain and tears of heartbreak. I feel my heart sinking, my breaths getting heavier and my pain materializing all over again. And I don't hear any cries for help, I always did it on my own. But the anger emerges , not anger.. rage. Yes , I don't have secrets, and I will tell you anything that you want; but what if I want to make belief that some history has never taken place? Why are the skeletons showing up in my closet , although I have given them proper burial? So many demons come to haunt me. It's so crowded, in my head ,that there is no room for more.
But at the end,I grow wings.
Wings like those of a dove; only bigger, whiter and stronger.
Strong enough to carry me.
So I can fly
And keep on flying
Away from it all
Away from me!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

الفرق بين الطبخ على نار هادئة والطبخ السريع

 لاحظت إن بقى لى فترة كل تدويناتي إما تتحدث عن الحب (أو عدمه) والمشاعر (أو عدمها) أو تدوينات حزينة نكدية بتبني جو من  الكآبة العامة اللي محدش لا طايقها ولا ناقصها اصلا. فقررت بيني وبين نفسي أني مش هكتب حتى يكون عندي شئ خفيف وظريف أكتب عنه. المشكلة للأسف اللي وجهتني هي أن كل اللي بيدور في بالي دلوقتي إما الشغل ومشاكله اللي مبتخلصش أو حوار المشاعر اللي قلت إني مش هتكلم فيه، فقررت أسكت. بس النهارده وأنا في العربية مراوحة البيت من الشغل جائت لي فكرة قلت رغم إنها بتكسر شوية القرار اللي فوق إلا إنها تمشي مع فكرة خفيفة فممكن نعملها إستثناء فكرت في قد إيه "الإعجاب أو الإنبهار" بشخص ده عامل زي طرق الطبيخ، فيها السريع واللي على نار هادئة والللي الواحد يقعد يجهز فيه ويستنى عليه في الفرن إنه يستوي، مبيستويش. طبعا أنا محبب عليا أقول "الحب عامل زي الطبيخ"، بس من ناحية، أنا لسة من كام يوم بقول إن الإعجاب محتاج كثير علشان يبقى حب أصلا، ومن ناحية تانية حسيت إن الجملة مستهلكة جدا من قبل النكت القالشة.    أنا كنت طول عمري بميل للطبيخ السريع، زي طريقة "ستير فراي"، في...

Reflections on tolerance , intelligence and beauty

Tolerance I find it really interesting how many people who claim themselves open-minded , sophisticated , cultured and well-read would use the word "tolerance" to justify socially unacceptable behavior or ideologies. They would claim themselves tolerant to different religious/spiritual views, to taboo topics, eccentric friends ,...etc and even preach the more reserved about tolerating and accepting others. Yet, these very "tolerant" people would not even remotely accept a conservative or religious person. A girl I know , to prove her so-called tolerance would always preach "Guys, you should always be more tolerant. Take things easier. The world is very diverse and we should learn to accept each other. For one, I learned to cope with things; I even lived with a gay flat-mate when I lived in the US and I have friends of all faiths." This same girl, when talking to me about my own brother would still say "I can't stand how those so called religious...

Privacy Issues

Last night, I was having dinner with the OC gang when Mardini decided to pop the question that everyone seems to be talking about these days, "who would you vote for in the presidential elections?". When it was my turn to answer I said "I don't share my political opinions" which apparently threw some  off balance. Meyo and Zei understood perfectly well and gave me acknowledging looks that they respect my "no share" zone. Toulan on the other hand, at first, gave me the raised eyebrow for a minute then said "Ya zeww, ya3ni you share everything but don't share your political opinions". Naturally, he was referring to this blog. The thing is, everyone has some issues they consider private, yes, even me! Maybe to you readers, it's  natural to assume one's romantic life is private or that one's thoughts and feelings are private. For me honestly, these are not an issue. I mean, privacy, like everything else, is relative! To me, 3 ...