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Once upon a dark and bitter state of mind, having *almost* lost my faith in fairy tale concepts like "love at first sight" and "happily ever after"and "prince charming". I came up with these alternative ever after scenarios. Let me know what you think:
  • Cinderella realized that prince charming only loved her because she was good at housework. He happened to be a serious case of OCD (Obsessive- compulsive disorder) and would get really angry and insulting at times. He once beat her badly she lost her baby and filed for a divorce. Her divorce papers are in court waiting to settle down who gets the castle.
  • Snow white, got sick and tired of her prince's over protectiveness.. he became so jealous that he wouldn't let her visit any of the seven dwarfs anymore. And what's worse, he would go out with his buddies until late , come home drunk and watch TV . Too bored and too angry, she decided to pay him back by starting her own pornography website from home.
  • Sleeping beauty couldn't loose the weight she gained after pregnancy so her prince simply seized to love her. She caught him cheating on her several times and is looking for the courage to dump his sorry @$$ and start over, "but the kids.. what will happen to them?"is what she always says.
  • Rapunzel after being rescued by her prince , prepared a big fairy tale wedding but the fearless prince turned out to have a massive fear of commitment and left her 3 days before the wedding. She shaved her hair, and is undergoing martial arts training planning to kill him with her own hands.
  • Hansel developed serious emotional issues after his escape from the witch and is now a sadistic woman rapist and murderer. Gretel by the age of 20 realized sh couldn't cope with the real world, she swallowed some pain killers and died immediately.
  • Little red riding hood, realized that she had a thing for the bad guy . Feeling sorry for causing the death of her one baaaad true love, the wolf. She keeps on falling for one wrong guy after the other. Her last ex got her started on cocaine. She is now in re- habitation.
  • And finally,A princess from the kingdom of Far Far Away, who prefered to stay nameless for the purpose of this report, started a new sect called "Women in Charge". They are a feminist group who believe in woman Liberty, Fraternity, Equality or death to anyone (woman or man) who disagrees with them. "Slay the @*#$ prince and f#*% the magic dragon",she said in an interview, "at least the dragon never claimed he was charming".
  • And yes before I forget... Kids.. as sad as it sounds...THERE IS NO SANTA.

Comments

BooDy said…
This is hilarious.
But please don't say that about Santa. I don't believe you, *sniff* *sniff* I don't believe you!!
Anonymous said…
LOOOOOOOOL

my favorite is Rapunzel! :D
BaboOshka! said…
hahhahahaha that was hilarious!i luv it!

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