A piece of my mind

After obsession, desperation, depression and self blaming comes a moment of peace. A peace within yourself that it's time to turn the page despite how difficult it can be or how much hope you still have left. Only then, you reach a conclusion or rather a realization ; as much as it kills me to say it, it's time to move beyond mr perfect and settle for a mr good-enough.

"Happiness comes and goes. Let it come. Let it go."  Stumbled upon this saying randomly a few days ago and I can't remember where/who. But it made me stop. Does this mean we should just accept that at times we will be unhappy? Sit there and wait for happiness to come? Sounds extremely difficult for a control freak like me! But there is something relaxing about the thought of not holding on to "expired" happiness, if I may so call it.

You see, love liberates.  It doesn't bind; love says I love you. I love you if you're in china. I love you if you're across town. I love you if you're in harlem. I love you.  I would like to be near you. I would like to have your arms around me. I would like to have your voice in my ear but thats not possible now; I love you so go. Love liberates; it doesn't hold. Thats ego.  Love liberates. ―  Maya Angelou

Dear life Give me a break! Please :) Thank you

As kids, crying was a completely acceptable form of reaction or outlet. If you were scared, you cried. If you were confused, you cried. If you didn't understand a new emotion, it was ok to cry too. If you were too tired, or sick or even disappointed, you cried. If you were too happy, you would refuse to sleep, then get cranky cause you're tired, then cried. (That was a very indirect example, but you get my point, no?) We grew up, and crying wasn't ok any more. It is a sign of weakness. We learned to cry on the inside, to shove it up, to fake strong till you're strong. There is no such thing as confused or exploring new emotions; you're an adult, you should understand yourself, otherwise how can you succeed in life. Then came the point when one realised they failed for so long, and got heart broken so many times, that tears are becoming a commodity, so a decision has to be made; no more tears. But as a self respecting adult, I somehow took this decision too serio...

Another amazing song... this time a cover by Luciana Zogbi, of John Legend's song... What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in, and you kicking me out You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down What's going on in that beautiful mind I'm on your magical mystery ride And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

I'm sick, tired, sleepy, and honestly freaking out about my new decisions.  I'm concerned for my family, my business, the future of the country, and a million other important things. I admit it, I am scared. And that's big, I never admit being scared, not even to myself. But what scares me even more is that that's it. It's like in my head there has always been a part two but now I realize that no there isn't. And that completely freaks me out. I miss you; not the special things, the everyday things; like the way you paused thinking of the perfect words before you answered any question ( I miss those few seconds, I keep thinking if I talked less, would things have been different), I miss the way you laughed at what I said when you thought it was funny and I was being all serious ( there was this moment where u tilt your head back right before you start laughing, that's when I realized you'll laugh. If I had made you laugh more, would I have had more memor...

Why is it that Dubai always evokes memories and triggers a thought process!? No idea. Dubai intimidates me. It's too fast, high, fake, consumeristic, violent... too city... too cosmopolitan... too lonely. But this trip, I learned something new, I learned one can still be intimidated and move on. Dubai, as intimidating as it is, actually moved into my comfort zone. Which is sad, to tell you the truth,  why being intimidating and lonely becomes "comfort". I took it as a sign that I'm ready for the next chapter of my life. Or is my mind playing this trick to force me to become ok with intimidating and lonely intentionally to prepare for the next chapter? I can't tell the difference anymore. But it's ok