A piece of my mind

I've been fascinated with the concept of the "seven deadly sins" ever since we studied "An inspector calls" by J.B Priestley middle school. I can't quite remember the details, but it was the first time I was introduced to the concept of the deadly sins. Then of course the movie "Se7en" starring Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman in 1995. I tend to go and read more about the fiction and history of the subject every-once-in-a-while; especially when I feel evil inside. Perhaps just to prove to myself that I'm not that bad after all, or at least not harmful. Anyway, having been in one of these down moods recently, i decided to write a series of short stories, one about each sin. Naturally, being me, these will be modern relationships stories, not those of the "if you go this way, you'll end up that way". Anyway, here's the first... She knows she is supposed to be happy; they just won the big case they've been working on the last si...

I call myself a falling star; between a fallen angel and a shooting star. A fallen angel is one who is an angel no more; fell from grace; damned for eternity; for one mistake; how he'd like to go back; to correct the mistake; to make amends; to ask for forgiveness; but that's not possible no more. A shooting star, is one that has flown from afar; and it so shines; lighting the way ; from the sky above; and it makes you smile; and make a wish; but it travels alone; and it dies alone; fading into the air. P.S.. this does not particularly apply to me, it's just a mindset.

I was born to catch dragons in their dens And pick flowers To tell tales and laugh away the morning To drift and dream like a lazy stream And walk barefoot across sunshine days. - James Kavanaugh

I want to write a bit about the color beige. To give you an idea which color of beige I'm talking about; I need to rule out some colors: -I'm not talking about the pink-ish beige.. that's bois du rose - not yellow-ish beige.. that's camel or ochre -nor white-ish beige.. that's off-white or cafe au lait - not the glittery beige either.. that's champagne I'm talking about the pure color of beige, similar to sand only lighter, and has equal amounts of pink, yellow and white. Beige is such a neutral color, no personality of its own, so it can always blend in with any other color and you never see beige alone. In clothes, beige is the perfect color to tone down excessively bright colors like red, electric blue and leaf green. You can also use beige to look peaceful and angelic, adding white or cafe au lait. Also, adding beige to black, grey, or brown will give a touch of subtle elegance. I have never seen a lady who actually looks good in a beige hijab; in my opi...

Why? Why now? You never liked the way I dress, my shoes, or the way I curl my hair. You said I wear my hijab too big and my sense of fashion was hippie and improper. Why say that I'm beautiful now? You said my education, my work and the way I act are too masculine for girls. You made up terrible stories about my childhood and spread them making everyone think I was a monster. Why claim I'm your little angel now? You loved everyone else, but not me. All the other kids, even my brother and sister, but not me. Why love me now? Why be kind and nice when you have always neglected me? Why make me love you just before you go? Why make me sad for your leaving when you have never been there in my life? And you? How many times do I have to kill you? ًI tried to drown you, I tried to strangle you, I even tried to bury you alive. Why come back? I am happy living as a heartless bitch. I am happy not getting emotionally attached to anything or anyone. So why show up again and give me a hard ...

It can't be a daydream; day dreams are supposed to be pleasant. It can't be a nightmare either, because it's isn't night , nor am I sleeping. Listening to songs that remind me of times of hardship, in a crowded street on the way home, I see, feel and hear all those sobs of pain and tears of heartbreak. I feel my heart sinking, my breaths getting heavier and my pain materializing all over again. And I don't hear any cries for help, I always did it on my own. But the anger emerges , not anger.. rage. Yes , I don't have secrets, and I will tell you anything that you want; but what if I want to make belief that some history has never taken place? Why are the skeletons showing up in my closet , although I have given them proper burial? So many demons come to haunt me. It's so crowded, in my head ,that there is no room for more. But at the end,I grow wings. Wings like those of a dove; only bigger, whiter and stronger. Strong enough to carry me. So I can fly And k...

This piece has been on my mind for a very long time.. but I never got through to actually write it. It's my first post in Arabic... I need some encouragement. الله اكبر ...الله اكبر ...الله اكبر ...لا اله إلا الله يا بابا ﻷ, مش عايز اجي , سيبونى انام شويه الله اكبر ...الله اكبر و لله الحمد يوه يا ماما, الدنيا سقعة اوى... علشان خطرى سيبونى انام شويه الله اكبر كبيرا و بعدين انا اصلا مش بحب الوح الجامع.... زحمة اوى و الحمد لله كثيرا طب خلاص انا لبست اهه... ممكن بائه يا بابا تشيلنى لحد الجامع و سبحان الله بكرة ة اصيلا بابا... هو ليه الاذان مش زي كل جمعة؟ لا اله الا الله وحده تكبيرة العيد!! يعني ايه تكبيرة العيد؟ صدق وعده ايوة صح , انا ولد كبير ... دا حتى انا صمت السنة دى لحد الظهر و ماما قالت السنة الجاية ممكن اصوم لحد العصر ونصر عبده ياااااه.. يا بابا الجامع زحمة اوى... بص بص... التاس بتصلى على الرصيف و في الجنينة و هزم الاحزاب وحده لأ بابا .. ممكن لو سمحت نصلى مع ميدو و بابه... انا شفتهم فى الجنينة .. لا اله الا الله انتا برده صحوك بدرى يا ميدو؟ ولا نعبد الا اياه لا... بابا قال اسم...

I received the following little poem in PTP (a cultural eGroup that I'm subscribed in, where I used to publish my short stories and random thoughts before I started blogging). Anyway, I thought it is worth sharing, it reminds me of the time I was leaving ITWorx. الثور فر من حظيرة البقر، الثور فر ، فثارت العجول في الحظيرة ، تبكي فرار قائد المسيرة ، وشكلت على الأثر ، محكمة ومؤتمر ، فقائل قال : قضاء وقدر ، وقائل : لقد كفر وقائل : إلى سقـر ، وبعضهم قال امنحوه فرصة أخيرة ، لعله يعود للحظيرة ؛ وفي ختام المؤتمر ، تقاسموا مربطه، وقسموا شعيره ، وبعد عام وقعت حادثة مثيرة ، لم يرجع الثور ، ولكن ذهبت وراءه الحظيرة -- أحــــمــــد مـــــطـــــر* * شاعر عراقي معاصر، ولد في البصرة في مطلع الخمسينات من القرن الماضي، وهو مستقر حاليا في لندن بعد سلسله النفي التي واجهها بسبب شعره المعارض الذي تميز به حتى الآن

... when the feelings of love are so overwhelming yet not reciprocated... when there's a lot of giving you want to give but are suffocated... it's either no one deserves it.. or everyone does; but you just don't know how.. when you feel like sharing and you find no one who cares or no one worth sharing ... when you feel like screaming but there's just no air so you can't even hear yourself scream.. or even worse, when it's too wide of a space.. so the echoes of your voice return back to haunt you, to torture you and leave you more pain... So you say I'll dance and I'll smile... if I fake it long enough I know I can make it.. but you don't.. and you look in the mirror to see a you that you don't recognize what you see.. i say "what " because it is a mess.. a mess you caused by all your faking.. and it doesn't get better, but you hope and you say.. one day things will be better, I will be better , prettier.. inside and out.. calmer, ...

I havent had the opportunity to update my blog for a while. It being Ramadan and all, the time just flies too fast. However, in the last 10 days alot has happened which I intended to blog but never got the time to do it. In reverse chronological order, find some meaningless blah blah below: Thursday 4th October: Meyo's birthday! Nag,Sherif (Meyo's hubby), Omar , BooDy and I, prepared a small intimate surprise party for Meyo. Although naturally, I always run late, short on time and lost. We managed to pull our plan through, and she had fun alhamdulilah. I think we all did! One thing I realized though, I really AM intimidating when people first meet me. I need to work on that, don't know how.. but I'll try! Any suggestions? (Pictures on facebook ) Wednesday 3rd October: OC iftar! OC arrange a company iftar at Andrea Mariotteya. It was awesome, we had so much fun and so much "tahyees". I ,literally, laughed till my mouth hurt. We also got a cake for Meyo's p...