A piece of my mind

I can not even start to describe how heart-warming it feels to receive a geniuene apology. Although 4 years overdue, but it had all the meanings I needed to hear. The weight that has been lifted off my chest is incredible, I thought one gets used to it, but the moment it is lifted off makes those 4 years worth the wait.  It actually also proves the enormous human capacity for forgiveness; I didn't know I had it in me.  Thank you!

Me! The sucker of the year... The world's biggest fool... The eternal idiot... All me! Allow me to explain As it turns out, men are tempted to fix things. You discuss something that's bothering you, for instance, and the thing they automatically do is: try to fix it. What if the problem is bigger or more complex than their capacity to fix? Like say global climate changes, economy of developing countries or the  lack of the pre-A funding in the entrepreneurial ecosystem in Cairo. Well, they try to fix you! They will try all sorts of fixing tips and tricks for you to deal better with the problem; patience, ego-boosting, look-at-the-bright-side and other famous textbook advice. The problem with me, is, I fall for it, i sadly misinterpret interest in the problem to interest in me as a person. The classic fool, I am! The one who opens up to the intellectuals, the do-ers, the acheivers, the ones with a can-do-and-have-done-attitude. These, are clearly, the fixers. They're never i...

How is one supposed to feel, when a very desirable gentleman, in the name of science, shares his "semi professional" opinion and says that I am beautiful, after a clear warning, that nothing in the conversation should be interpreted as flirtation? This would only happen to me, right?

Of course I know he's in love. I am no fool. The question here isn't the poetry he recites, the question is to whom! I , for one, am sure it's not me. He doesn't know me that well to love me. But who? We may never know

Am I giving up? You be the judge... I am happy being there for everyone to depend on. I love my work, I love being able to make a difference. I love the people around me; friends, family, coworkers...etc But I just need space. I feel exhausted and I need a break. I need a one way ticket away from this life, from emotional abuse, from responsibility, from the burdens. I need a fresh start somewhere new, with someone new, a clean page, a simpler life, at least until I can stand on my own two feet again. I need to know that the limitations of life could be left behind and new possibilities can happen. I need a break; a serious long break. And if that is giving up, then fine. I am giving up on this life and looking for a new one. The end

Dear friend I'll tell you now what I told you in 1998 (apparently I was much wiser then than I am now). If you keep waiting, she'll never be yours. You wait till "you're more stable", " you're sure she's the right person", "the time is right", "she's over the other guy", or even "you feel she's ready for something new". You know what, that will never happen. It's now or never, like it was then, when you didn't listen then you cried your heart out. One day, while you're busy waiting, she'll meet that guy, who may or may not be Prince Charming, and he won't be waiting, he'll sweep her off her feet, and you'll come back crying again!

About a week ago, a little after I published  this post, I had a conversation with someone I respect, a gentleman, a father and a mentor who has been around long enough, and traveled the world far enough, that when he judges, I don't feel like "what the hell does he know", which I do with most people.  I can' quite remember what brought this in a normal work related conversation, but he looked at me and said, "Egyptian men are the worst, they are the most dependent and least reliable compared to all other men. Most of them are Mama's boys. " I said I didn't really face the mama's-boy situation, I only wish they'd make up their mind about what they want pre-attempting it. And he said, " That's exactly it, they're used to Mama making the decision for them "