A piece of my mind

We learned in physics that "Energy can not be created nor destroyed, but can only change from one form to another". But I was always a chemistry person myself, and in chemistry, the same can not be said about love! Can love be created? I don't know. I know it has a start, because you feel it growing inside you, with stimulants of course, but you do feel it growing. For one, I can always identify the moment where "love" started. In my humble opinion, I don't think you can force love, just like you can't force respect. You can pretend it, but you can't force start it. Can love be destroyed? Definitely! Lying, physical or emotional abuse, anger, infidelity ..etc can all kill love. And i say "can" not "will", as I don't quite get the equation of how forgiveness works in that context, but I know forgiveness can win a battle against anything. Can one change from one form to the other! Doubt it (ha2aoo)! Again my theory, is that it b...

أتعجب كيف للإنسان تلك القدرة العجيبة لإسترجاع الذكريات المؤلمة... او بمعنى أدق , اتعجب من قدرة الانسان من "النكد على نفسه" و تجاهل كل قراراته ان يكون متفائل و ان يأخذ بزمام الامور . وجدت نفسى مستغرقة في البكاء و انا اشاهد مجموعة من الصور القديمة و استرجع الذكريات المرتبطة بها , و في تلك اللحظة كان امامي اختيارين : الاول الاستسلام لحنين الماضي و قراءة مدونتي القديمة و المراسلات المتعلقة بتك الفترة و الاستغراق فى لبكاء لساعات و ايام الثاني انشال نفسى من هذا الشعور بالفقدان و مزاولة الحياة و رغم انني عادة اختار الحنين و البكاء إلا اننى قررت ان اخذ الخيار الاصعب و اتوقف عن النكد عجيبة , و لكنى سعيدة!

OC Seems I'm not getting over you. I keep thinking of you and all the times we had together; the fun and the not so fun. I remember the days I used to complain, I was so naive, forgive me, I now know how much of an idiot I was to be sad in such a heaven. I miss everything about you. I miss hanging out with Mai, Roger, and Jaz in our office to brainstorm about problems that face us in work as well as all sorts of random stuff. I miss my room, the one on the lower ground in front of the door, where we get to hear (and sometimes see) every person that enters through the front door. I miss the furniture, the beanbags, the meeting room, the kitchen where we had a waleema every once in a while. I miss our tea drawer, and our 5 o'clock kalam fel sa2f and tea time. I miss all the sounds; people running around like we are in a kindergarten, Ereny yelling at them to calm down or complaining that she's bored and no one is playing with her, hearing Mardini or Ratib play the guitar, or...

There are three levels of falling in "L"with someone; in love, in like and in lust. Almost the entire population of the earth, in my opinion , mix up things, or at least, overrate the word "love". You find this kid in highschool crying his eyes out on their latest cursh and claiming he loves her.I mean , seriously, how long have you known her and what do you know about love anyway. Anyhow, the way I see it, things work differently for guys and girls. Apparently, for guys, it goes in the following order: in lust -> in like -> in love while for girls, it goes; in like-> in lust- > in love. Some people are not capable of moving beyond the first level , and some people reach the last level faster than others. I personnaly ,till recently, thought that maybe the whole love thing is jut a state of mind where we delude* ourselves into thinking we are in love just because. You'd wonder why I put a * above! I just right now realized, that illusion does not ...

Previously on soundtrack of life: intro , the ex , the workout , and friends . --- Going to work --- In the romantic comedy , the scene starts by her waking up , with a smile on her face, like she just had the most wonderful dream, then looks at the alarm clock and starts cursing and swearing that she woke up late for the millionth time. In a flash we see her all dressed , and ready to walk out the door. She walks to the tube station(call it subway, metro, underground ... whatever) where she meets one of her quirky friends and they take the tube . They talk while riding together till each of them reaches her stop. Leading girl then takes the bus for a couple of stops before reaching her office; it's the same bus everyday As soon as she steps out, she lights her cigarette and the driver (who happens to be the same everyday by pure coincidence) , always waves bye to her saying that she ought to quit smoking. She buys herself a cup of coffee from the cafe across the street from her ...

To know where this post comes from, read the intro , the ex and the workout . ---- Friends ---- In the romantic comedy , the friends are the core of the girls life. She's on the phone with them while at work , goes out with them after work, they represent her alternative family; giving her advise, cheering her up while she's down, and go love her regardless of her awkwardness. In fact, they are equally as awkward as she is; the gay small time fashion designer by day Broadway dancer by night, the acupuncture therapist and her husband who writes crossword puzzles for a local newspaper and her best friend, the nail spa owner who is as hopeless in relationships as she is. The usually meet after a situation, on a round table, with drinks, hilariously making fun of their problems. And when she (leading girl) has the core crisis of the movie, they play the inevitable role of the selfless friends and gather all their savings to send her on the trip of her lifetime touring Italy to...

Following the intro and part 1 , I present you with: ----The Workout---- In the romantic comedy we always see a scene of her working out. It will usually follow a transformation point when she decided to make herself a better person , loose weight, quite smoking, dump the lame boyfriend, move to a better job, pursue her dream of being an actress/dancer/fashion designer/ Cello Player or something. She's determined, charged and well prepared; damn, she even brought a new training outfit. As soon as she enters the gym hall, all proud of herself, she sees all the beautiful well built people in the room and as she keeps staring at this good looking hunk at the back she walks right into a wall. But, she's still all filled with energy; she stands up, still head up and goes straight to the treadmill. The next scene, we see her on the elliptical-cross-trainer and we see a quick flash back how she always avoided/feared/had a miserable childhood memory with that particular machine, but...

After we stated the facts here , I'll just do a little comparison, (1) if my life was a romantic comedy, (2) if it was drama movie, and (3) the documentary or in other words..real life. I'll take a few scenes and compare a little bit in each case.. ----The Ex ---- In the romantic comedy , we'll always have the pleasure and peace of mind in knowing that the ex was a complete @$$&0!* who didn't deserve her in the first place. He only shows up in the movie as a clumsy drunk who is obviously miserable because he misses her in his life and we can tell how screwed up he is. She sees him , perhaps before the leading man asks her out on a date. He makes a laughing stock out of himself and she feels sorry for herself yet does not show it in front of the leading man. The scene changes to later that night; when she is eating lots and lots of ice cream to cheer herself up and while she is singing out loud " I will survive" and cutting out her ex's face from ol...

Ok, that was going to be a long long post so I split it into several shorter ones I don't think anyone can deny the effect of the endless movies we've seen on our lives. I mean, I know I'm not the only one to say that sometimes I feel like today is just another scene in a movie. So, yesterday in the workout , it occurred to me; what if my life is in fact a movie?! What would it be like? What soundtrack will be playing in the background? Who would be the leading man? What kind of movie will it be? I took those thoughts and explored them further later through the day and decided, well, probably no one would be interested to know what my life would be like as a movie, but then again it's a piece of my mind, I get to blog whatever I want. No? Firstly, some facts: In a movie, any movie, she is the star, the one who the whole story goes on and on about. In real life, I am just another random person of the countless souls that roam this earth. In a movie, the right soundtrack...

Love that movie, both parts... They're actually my kind of funny movies; not the dump, slip-over-banana ,type of funny, but the sarcastic, dark, funny-in-a-sad-way kind of funny. Added to that, a happy ending to touch the naive girl in me. Thinking about the movie, after a smart conversation (with za pest friend) I realized that perhaps I just need to acknowledge the difference between Mr. Perfect and Mr. Right (for lack of a better terminology). Mr. Right, is the good CV, the rich guy, with the expensive car, th e house in the suburbs and the family name(النسب الى يشرف). Your mother loves him because well, he's right for her daughter. Your dad trusts him and can spend hours talking to him. And your siblings show him off to their friends. And then there is Mr.Perfect . Mr. Perfect is the guy you always fall for, he proves the type theory ( that each of us has a type that we fall for every single time). Usually, your parents can't stand Mr. Perfect and you can't bl...

It's music season; Autumn has always been music season in Cairo. Actually, not just music, but all cultural events. Which is definitely a good thing.. I always love that stuff, except that, why just in Autumn? I mean the rest of the year is boring, why cram everything in just one season. Anyway.. I went to the SOS last Friday, which was so cool really. For the first time I heard Cairokee ; I've been wanting to listen to their songs for ages.. they're cool, as in really cool. I also heard The Percussion Show , and like WOW! begad WOW. And most importantly Nagham Masry , whom I absolutely adore..guys... you rock! But the coolest part was when the bands were fusing together. Even the worst ones were good when they played with others. Apparently, I like fusion music, along the lines of the latest awarness campaigns (حملات التوعية) that have been taking over Egypt since Ramadan, I say "نغني مع بعضنا , نتبسط كلنا" Yesterday evening, went to one of the Jazz Factory...

Introduction As it happens, my parents are very popular people; so everyone they know wants to somehow favor them by proposing a potential suitor for the eldest unmarried spinster daughter that is me, humbly. So, last weekend , my father ,after not having the opportunity to talk for a while, instead of bonding and sharing a father-daughter moment, decides to ruin the mood and bring up the whole "Yasmine, you're older now, we have to get you married" conversation. And then, he talks about 3 potential suitors just to make this conversation even more dramatic. For a change, I decided to be polite, obedient and just listen to what he has to say without arguing and just let him get it over with. Assumptions Having actually heard the options available on the market these days (sorry for putting it this way, but it just seems like it), I realized, that, actually there are a few interesting people one can possibly meet. Aside from my views regarding arranged marriages and blind d...

A couple of weeks back, my manager/mentor/friend R mentioned a very interesting conclusion about aquarian women (his wife is an aquarian too), which I haven't noticed before. He thinks that we , aquarian women, are very good planners when it comes to either short term plans or really long term plans. The problem is, we don't have any sense of planning things in the middle. Short term like a day or a week ahead is easy, well planned and probably the preparation for the plan is being executed as we speak. Let me give you an example, what are my plans for the weekend? That's easy! I can give you a detailed plan with options, timing, pros and cons of each alternative , a budget and a list of contact persons, just off the top of my head. It comes naturally to me. Really long term like years ahead in easy ,too. For example, what are my life plans or what do I want to do when I'm 30? Easy..I'd like to keep them to myself for now...but really really easy! The tricky part is...

When you're really hurt and pissed off, all you can think about is your rage. The more you think about it , the more you feel hurt and that pisses you off more. So how does this rage and hurt go away, time! One of my biggest fears yet most admired truth..time! Lots and lots of time. Sometimes however, some weird incident happens that speeds up the recovery. Unfortunately, these weird incidents always end up being unpleasant , like death, sickness, family problems or things like that. Incidents that remind you how life is so not worth the anger. However, on very rare times, you want someone to go out of their way for you. Just to step out of their convenient safety zone, just to make you feel better.. this itself makes you forget everything and move on.. the will to make you feel better actually makes you feel better... isn't that amazing? Or am I just a sucker for happy endings. I don't wanna loose more friends or family or whatever.. I am capable of forgiveness and I want...

So last week, Boody got me the first two seasons of Grey's anatomy. In normal circumstances, movies and series stay on my laptop till the end of time before I actually get myself to start watching. But since these last few days have just been too much for me to handle , you just look for distraction. If you're wondering why the last few days suck, I'll just say I have 4 different kinds of problems:( guy problems, work problems, health problems, and family problems. When it rains.... it pours. And Grey's anatomy doesn't make it any better. It started out as a simple, one episode before I go to bed, then the one episode became 4, intercepted with a cup of home-made Chai (which I learnt how to do, but haven't perfected yet). Followed by 5 episodes the next day , along with a cup of white chocolate and coconut frescato from Costa and a piece of tiramisu cake that doesn't even remotely stand a competing chance with that of coffee bean and tea leaf, but I was crav...

Toothpaste One of the frequent occurring problems with traveling , is when you forget your toothpaste. See, in most decent hotels, you usually find little bottles of shower gel, shampoo and conditioner but I haven't came across a hotel yet, that places a tube of toothpaste. I'm sure the entire mankind will be grateful to the hotel chain that starts this trend. The closest to toothpaste I got was in my last trip to Dubai , where Burjuman Rotana hotel paced a bottle of mouth wash. Close enough... but I pray for toothpaste in hotels, one day! Waking up in the morning I always believed, and apparently so do many people, that the hardest part of the day is getting out of bed in the morning. Dreamers are satisfied by setting a major goal in life, like for instance "I will find a cure for cancer" or "I will bring all the world to peace". They wake up by reminding themselves; "Today, I'm one day closer to achieving it". Ambitious Realists think that i...

Tolerance I find it really interesting how many people who claim themselves open-minded , sophisticated , cultured and well-read would use the word "tolerance" to justify socially unacceptable behavior or ideologies. They would claim themselves tolerant to different religious/spiritual views, to taboo topics, eccentric friends ,...etc and even preach the more reserved about tolerating and accepting others. Yet, these very "tolerant" people would not even remotely accept a conservative or religious person. A girl I know , to prove her so-called tolerance would always preach "Guys, you should always be more tolerant. Take things easier. The world is very diverse and we should learn to accept each other. For one, I learned to cope with things; I even lived with a gay flat-mate when I lived in the US and I have friends of all faiths." This same girl, when talking to me about my own brother would still say "I can't stand how those so called religious...

I want to write a bit about the color beige. To give you an idea which color of beige I'm talking about; I need to rule out some colors: -I'm not talking about the pink-ish beige.. that's bois du rose - not yellow-ish beige.. that's camel or ochre -nor white-ish beige.. that's off-white or cafe au lait - not the glittery beige either.. that's champagne I'm talking about the pure color of beige, similar to sand only lighter, and has equal amounts of pink, yellow and white. Beige is such a neutral color, no personality of its own, so it can always blend in with any other color and you never see beige alone. In clothes, beige is the perfect color to tone down excessively bright colors like red, electric blue and leaf green. You can also use beige to look peaceful and angelic, adding white or cafe au lait. Also, adding beige to black, grey, or brown will give a touch of subtle elegance. I have never seen a lady who actually looks good in a beige hijab; in my opi...

Why? Why now? You never liked the way I dress, my shoes, or the way I curl my hair. You said I wear my hijab too big and my sense of fashion was hippie and improper. Why say that I'm beautiful now? You said my education, my work and the way I act are too masculine for girls. You made up terrible stories about my childhood and spread them making everyone think I was a monster. Why claim I'm your little angel now? You loved everyone else, but not me. All the other kids, even my brother and sister, but not me. Why love me now? Why be kind and nice when you have always neglected me? Why make me love you just before you go? Why make me sad for your leaving when you have never been there in my life? And you? How many times do I have to kill you? ًI tried to drown you, I tried to strangle you, I even tried to bury you alive. Why come back? I am happy living as a heartless bitch. I am happy not getting emotionally attached to anything or anyone. So why show up again and give me a hard ...

I havent had the opportunity to update my blog for a while. It being Ramadan and all, the time just flies too fast. However, in the last 10 days alot has happened which I intended to blog but never got the time to do it. In reverse chronological order, find some meaningless blah blah below: Thursday 4th October: Meyo's birthday! Nag,Sherif (Meyo's hubby), Omar , BooDy and I, prepared a small intimate surprise party for Meyo. Although naturally, I always run late, short on time and lost. We managed to pull our plan through, and she had fun alhamdulilah. I think we all did! One thing I realized though, I really AM intimidating when people first meet me. I need to work on that, don't know how.. but I'll try! Any suggestions? (Pictures on facebook ) Wednesday 3rd October: OC iftar! OC arrange a company iftar at Andrea Mariotteya. It was awesome, we had so much fun and so much "tahyees". I ,literally, laughed till my mouth hurt. We also got a cake for Meyo's p...